How to Find a Dominant Woman

Updated March 23, 2017

Women are normally socialised to be compliant and cooperative. This can make finding a dominant woman a challenge. It is possible to find a dominant woman if you are willing to search for one. However, it is important to avoid the mistake of appearing to be weak if you wish to attract a dominant woman.

Know your personal limits. Someone who is looking for light bondage will conduct an entirely different search from someone who is seeking a full-scale submissive relationship with a dominant mistress.

Use specialised ads and dating services. Advertise yourself as someone seeking a dominant woman. State specifically your likes, dislikes and personal limits.

Learn the proper terminology. This is especially important when posting a personal ad or a profile. Avoid the common mistake of confusing "dominate" with "dominant" in your ad.

Learn to recognise dominant female traits. Dominant women like to be in control of their personal circumstances. Dominant women may also be very competitive.

Consider moving to a large urban area. It is much more likely that dominant women can be found there. Larger cities are also more likely to have an established SM (sadomasochism) scene than a small town.


Present yourself as someone with high self-esteem who can take care of his basic needs. This will convince a dominant woman that you can endure being dominated. Dominant women are interested in a range of relationships, and not just those involving complete masochism of their partners.


Do not make assumptions about a woman based on her looks. Dominant women are not necessarily larger or physically stronger than other women. Adult personals websites and services frequently feature explicit language and images. They are not for children.

Things You'll Need

  • BDSM glossary
  • Alternative dating services and ads
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About the Author

Chris Blank is an independent writer and research consultant with more than 20 years' experience. Blank specializes in social policy analysis, current events, popular culture and travel. His work has appeared both online and in print publications. He holds a Master of Arts in sociology and a Juris Doctor.