How to know when to give up with a girl

Updated March 23, 2017

When it comes to dating, it is important to put yourself out there and spend time with women you are interested in. It is just as important, though, to know when a girl is not into you. After all, if you pursue a girl who isn't attracted to, you're just wasting your time. Even if she wants to be friends, you want more than that so you're never going to be that happy with her. Keep an eye out for signs that a girl wants you to leave her alone and heed them when you see them.

Touch her and see how she responds. This doesn't mean grabbing her in a tight embrace, but rather just touching her shoulder or elbow or another, similarly innocuous part of her body. If she wants you to leave her alone, she will back away from your touch.

Look at her eyes to see if she's looking at you more often than at other things. If her eyes are flitting around the room, settling on anything but you, then she probably wants you to leave her alone.

Try to make plans with her. If it's difficult to slot yourself into her busy schedule, then she probably wants you to leave her alone. This is because her schedule isn't really busy. Rather, she just has other things to do (like watching her favourite TV show) that she ranks above hanging out with you.

Make a joke. It doesn't have to be that funny. Indeed, the lamer it is, the better, because if she's into you then she'll laugh at every joke you make. Conversely, if you make a funny joke and she doesn't laugh, then she probably wants you to leave her alone.

Ask yourself how easy it is to get in touch with her. Does she always answer her phone? Does she take days to respond to Facebook messages? If so, then she probably wants you to leave her alone.

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About the Author

Sam Grover began writing in 2005, also having worked as a behavior therapist and teacher. His work has appeared in New Zealand publications "Critic" and "Logic," where he covered political and educational issues. Grover graduated from the University of Otago with a Bachelor of Arts in history.