While in some friendships each member is proud of and happy for the other, in others, one member suffers from jealousy, potentially weakening their bond. In some cases both have a heavy dose of jealousy. If you suspect that your friend may be harbouring some jealousy toward you, focusing some attention on the potential presence of this cancerous emotion is a wise choice. By facing the issue of jealousy head-on, you increase your chances of overcoming the emotion and getting your friendship back on steady ground.
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Pay attention to how she handles your successes. Often signs of jealousy are easiest to see when you are reporting good news about yourself. When you tell your friend of an exciting new development in your life, try to gauge whether the happiness she gives off is legitimate. If she plasters on what appears to be a fake smile and congratulates you to your face, only to speak ill of you behind your back, she is likely suffering from jealousy.
Listen for put-downs when you give good news. Some people deal with their jealousy by tossing around potentially hard-to-spot put-downs. If you, for example, tell your friend that you got engaged and she responds with congratulations, but then follows it up with a seemingly off-handed comment such as, "if you are sure that she is the right girl and all," she may be struggling through jealousy and, because of the presence of this emotion, unable to truly congratulate you.
Consider whether your friend's presence in your life ebbs and flows as you experience ups and down. Some friends allow their jealousy to lead them to move in and out of your life. If your friend appears to be always by your side, supporting you when you are down in the dumps, but disappears completely from the radar when you experience good fortune, she may be jealous and, as a result, only interested in the friendship when you are going through rough patches.
Heed warnings from other friends. In some cases friends mask their jealousy and give off no outward signs to you. Even when they do this, however, they usually make their jealousy known to someone. If others in your group of friends tell you that your friend is saying bad things about you, or that he appears to be jealous of you, it is wise to give their warnings some thought. While you don't want to jump to action simply because another friend tells you something, you should at least give these warnings a bit of consideration.
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