How to communicate with the strong silent type

Written by crystal green
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How to communicate with the strong silent type
Learn how to connect with your strong, silent type guy. (Goodshoot RF/Goodshoot/Getty Images)

He doesn't have to say a word but his presence is known. He's well-respected and his aura is intoxicating. Psychologists would label him the strong, silent type. Even with such a strong demeanour, he's neither bullying nor overpowering but somehow is able to capture much attention without doing much at all. To communicate with him effectively, learn what makes him tick.

Skill level:


  1. 1

    Know how he differs from other personality types. As most men are known for being generally quiet, he's different because his silence comes with an extra dose of confidence and control. Bear in mind that he doesn't feel the need to put on a show, stand out in a crowd or be chatty when he's out and about. He's less likely to chime in and pipe up about his feelings or emotions outright; rather, he's actually sitting back taking it all in. Don't confuse his silence as a sign of weakness or disinterest; consider that he feels most comfortable analysing a situation instead of putting up a big fuss.

  2. 2

    Handle his self-confidence with care. Don't become intimidated by him so much that you fear communication at all. Be direct and concise when speaking with him. Avoid providing too many details when storytelling or pitching a concept to him. You may find as you ramble on about a topic that his silence makes you uncomfortable more than it does him.

  3. 3

    Maintain a level of respect to be on his rank. Think of his silence as respectful, and don't pressure him to be something he's not. Remember, not everyone's a chatterbox, so don't force him to spill his heart when that's not what he's used to doing.

  4. 4

    Wait and anticipate when it is his time to speak. When he's ready to say something, don't interrupt him. This is his chance to have his say and is probably what you've been waiting for. Listen intently to him, but be willing to keep the conversation going. Don't stare at him blankly once he's done to avoid making him feel awkward for saying anything in the first place.

  5. 5

    Let him know how you feel if you feel there's a barrier in communicating with him. Don't allow his seemingly overpowering personality to intimidate you from getting your point across. Not all strong and silent types understand the dynamic of how they come across to others, so you may have to give him a little nudge to help him be direct and communicate effectively.

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