How to Live With a Spouse With Asperger Syndrome

Asperger Syndrome is a form of autism. It is predominately a disorder in males and is characterized by the inability to understand another person's thoughts, feelings and emotions. Women who have spouses with Asperger say they often feel they are walking on eggshells. There is no cure for Asperger Syndrome, but there are strategies to help you cope more effectively.

Seek on-going professional help for your spouse. Asperger Syndrome is a complicated disorder and should be managed by mental health and medical professionals.

Recognize the traits of the disorder. Asperger patients frequently have a lack of empathy and an inability to consider the viewpoints of others. They often prefer rigid routines that others find difficulty to follow. Do not see any of this as a personal attack; this is part of the disease.

Communicate with your Asperger spouse precisely and directly. Since Asperger patients have trouble reading non-verbal cues, you will need to give full and complete messages. Do not speak ambiguously. Try different forms of communication, such as letters, lists and email.

Prepare yourself to take on the majority of the parenting responsibilities. Many men with Asperger have difficulty relating to children. It is usually up to the non-Asperger spouse to provide a nurturing and consistent environment for children.

Talk openly about finances. Asperger patients frequently have poor money management skills. An Asperger spouse may want to spend lavishly on his hobby, yet be critical of normal household expenses. Using a third party, such as a financial planner, may be helpful.

Respond instead of reacting. This can be difficult when you're frustrated with your spouse, but if you force yourself to remain calm, you will have a more positive interaction.

Find help for yourself. Get involved with a support group for spouses of Asperger patients. If you become depressed, don't hesitate to get medical assistance.

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