Getting your boyfriend to express his feelings can be frustrating. Keep in mind, however, that many guys have a difficult time expressing their emotions. Guys express their love in a physical manner, while women have to be nurtured emotionally. Your boyfriend may feel that expressing his feelings will diminish his masculinity. He may fear that what he says may not be pleasing enough, or that his words will be over analysed and shot down.
- Skill level:
- Moderately Challenging
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Don't demand that he communicate a certain way. Be understanding about his current way of communicating. Let him know that you realise that his mind doesn't work the same as yours.
Don't be overpowering. If you demand answers from him and nag at him to express his emotions, he will shut down even further.
Don't criticise him. When he does begin to open up about something, don't judge him or tell him that he is wrong. Let him talk about how he feels and listen with an open mind. Listening doesn't mean you have to agree with everything he says, but criticising him will only push him further away emotionally.
What Not to Do
Express an interest in his issues. Ask him questions and let him know you are there for him to talk to. Show him that you are interested in knowing more about his hobbies or listening to him vent about a bad day at work.
Act casual when having a discussion. If you make your conversations a big deal and always stare into his eyes or expect him to stare into yours, he may feel threatened. Just casually talk to him while eating dinner or doing chores around the house. If you are relaxed when talking, he will be more likely to relax and open up.
Plan a dinner date. Get away for the evening and escape all your daily stresses. Share a romantic dinner at a restaurant that you both enjoy. This will give you both time to talk without any interruptions.
Agree to disagree. When having a disagreement, don't argue with him about who is right. Allow him to be himself. Once he realises that you aren't judging his opinions or feelings, he will be more likely to open up.
What to Do
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