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How to Send Condolences to a Friend for an Aunt's Death

Updated April 17, 2017

An aunt can be a beloved confident, friend and mother figure. When your friend has lost his aunt, he may be devastated and lost. He will also be comforting his mother or father, who lost a dear sister. This is a time when your friend needs you most. It is important to express your condolences during this time, whether in person, by letter, sending a gift, any combination of these choices. Sympathetic gestures made during this time will be cherished by your friend for years to come.

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  1. Tell your friend you are thinking about her. If you did not personally know her aunt, it is best to focus instead on your friend and her feelings during this time of loss. She will rely on friendships during this time, so simply reminding her of your connection will sustain her.

  2. Share how sorry you are for his loss. Being a good friend sometimes means just acknowledging the loss of his aunt is a hard experience. If you have had a similar experience, you can say you know how it feels to lose an aunt. Expressing empathy gives him permission to fully grieve his loss.

  3. Offer and demonstrate your support. Emotional support is very important during your friend's time of grief. Tell her if she needs anything, she can rely on you. Baking something for your friend and her family is a thoughtful gesture that demonstrates caring. Your friend may lack energy to do her normal activities so offering help will be appreciated, even if she does not take you up on the offer.

  4. Help him recall words of wisdom from his aunt. By reminding him of something wise his aunt said, your friend will feel like his aunt is still there comforting him. This gesture shows you are a good listener and that you also appreciated his aunt, even if you never met her.

  5. Send flowers or a donation to your friend's favourite charity. Usually the obituary will indicate which of these options the family prefers. Flowers or a donation are a sensitive and thoughtful gift when words sometimes cannot console.

  6. Send a sympathy card to help express your feelings. Select a card that speaks to you emotionally and helps you express what is in your heart. There are cards tailored especially to the loss of an aunt, which can be very helpful in expressing your sympathy.

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About the Author

Brenda Scottsdale is a licensed psychologist, a six sigma master black belt and a certified aerobics instructor. She has been writing professionally for more than 15 years in scientific journals, including the "Journal of Criminal Justice and Behavior" and various websites.

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