You've been dating someone for a while and things are perfect. But maybe they're a little too perfect. Your suspicions have been raised, but you aren't sure if you're just being paranoid about a good thing, or if you're actually dating a liar. You aren't alone in worrying about the truthfulness of your partner. Fortunately, there are a few signs to tell you if you're dating Mr. Right or Mr. Yeah, Right.
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Ask any poker player--unconscious physical cues can be a natural lie detector. Fidgeting when talking could be a dead giveaway. Look for things like constantly shifting feet, lots of touching of the face, frequent blinking or even dilated pupils. If the person you are dating looks uncomfortable when speaking to you that could be a sign that they aren't being entirely truthful.
How a person speaks to you--their tone, mannerisms and choice of words--can be another sign that they are being less than entirely truthful. If a person frequently answers "I don't know," or gives generally evasive answers, this is a strong sign that you aren't being told the whole truth. Frequent hesitation before answering potentially difficult questions is another sign of a lack of veracity. Lots of "but" statements ("This sounds crazy, but...") should also raise suspicion.
When a person is telling the truth, any inconsistencies in their story can be attributed to poor memory or simple miscommunication. However, with the liar, the problem is that they can't keep their story straight. Ask lots of questions about things that seem fishy to you. Try and get the potential liar to tell their story in reverse order, a skill that many pathological liars lack. See how they react when you point out that one part of their story is inconsistent with other parts of their story. Someone telling the truth will try and figure out what happened. A liar will retrofit their story to make it cohesive or become defensive. Liars also do not frequently come up with details for their yarns, so asking them what they had for dinner will likely trip them up.
If part of a liar's story seems strange to you, innocently bring it up to a friend, colleague or acquaintance. You don't need to come out and ask them in a straightforward way if the person you are dating is lying about the subject. You merely need raise the subject in an inquisitive way and see what they have to say about it. If your partner's friend seems confused by something you are telling him about your partner, that may be a sign that their story is false.
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