Funny tips to give a bride on her wedding day

Updated April 17, 2017

Weddings are delightful, but they can also cause a great deal of tension and stress, particularly for the bride. A little well-placed humour can go a long way in helping to lighten the mood and soothe a nervous bride. These one-liners and funny quips all present solid marriage advice in a humorous way. When choosing which to use, consider the personality of the bride and whether or not your joking will be well received.

On Marriage

"Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo..." This quip is a relatively safe joke unlikely to insult anyone. It also carries a solid piece of advice. After delivering it with good comedic timing, follow up by explaining that happily married couples are those that choose to ignore each other's faults and focus on good qualities instead.

On Wifehood

"Tell him you love him, scratch his back, and let him have the remote. Everything else is little stuff." This humorous bit of advice is perfect for the bride who is insecure about her ability to be a good wife. Use it to remind her that being a good spouse is about being kind and putting the other person first.

On Men

"Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom." This joke is perfect if a conversation about men comes up. It also makes a very good point about how the bride should relate to her new husband. However, it is slightly crass, so use with caution.

On Commitment

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." If the bride has cold feet, this titbit of humour is ideal. It will make her smile and remind her that all good things in life, specifically marriage, do not come without risk.

On the Wedding Night

"Your TV viewing on your wedding night will be: Firstly, 'The Marriage Game.' This will be followed by 'Great Temptation,' 'The Untouchables,' 'Mission Impossible,' 'The Time is Right' and finally 'Rawhide' and 'Bonanza.'" Although it is not as common today, there are still women that remain virgins until their honeymoon. If this is the case, the bride will probably be a bit nervous about her wedding night. Since it is not overly crude, this joke is perfect for soothing her anxieties and making her laugh.

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