Signs of emotional insecurity in a man

Updated April 17, 2017

Jokes are often made about the emotional insecurities of men, but it can often be a crippling and dangerous thing to be in a relationship with a man that has emotional insecurities. A man with emotional problems can be abusive and aggressive, so it is best to be careful when dealing with a male partner that is showing signs of emotional insecurity. Insecurity can range from simple competitiveness to abusiveness with ranges in between.


Men who are emotionally insecure cannot take criticism very well. Any word of criticism is taken as an attack rather than a genuine offer of help. An emotionally insecure man cannot see how he can improve himself. Anyone who offers words of advice to him is an enemy and is only trying to attack him and take him down. This is a man who is not able to accept that it is OK to be flawed.

Excessive Joking and Talking

An insecure man is always making a joke or chattering about something. A man who is always telling jokes wants to be the centre of attention and may push the limits of propriety to get that attention. He is man who is uncomfortable with silence, who must always have something to say. His insecurity pushes him to make rude jokes at the expense of others, to be the centre of attention and to keep his opinions in the forefront.


Emotionally insecure men are bullies. If they get into a position of power, they use their authority to push people around to prove that they are better than everyone else. An insecure man feels threatened by people and uses whatever power he has to bully them into doing what he wants. He will often punish people just for the sake of punishing them or to set an example. An emotionally insecure man wields his authority to crush people and make sure they are not a threat. To him, everyone is a threat to be neutralised.


Everything is a competition with an emotionally insecure man because he is always measuring himself against everyone else. He is also highly materialistic. He must have the best car, the biggest house and the most money. He cannot feel good about himself unless he has these things because he bases his whole self-worth on the competition he sets up between himself and others. If he does not win, he feels he is less of a man. Therefore, he does everything he can to win in his eyes.


In relationships, an emotionally insecure man is jealous of his partner's relationships with other people. He cannot understand what she sees in him, so he's always expecting her to leave. That's why he is constantly questioning her, following her and mistrusting her. He cannot trust that she will want to stay with him and thinks that she will eventually wise up and find someone else. His insecurities are the things that tend to drive partners away.


Abuse is one of the hallmark signs of an emotionally insecure man. It is the ultimate way he tries to control his partner. If he can beat her into staying, then he doesn't have to worry about her leaving him. The emotionally insecure man focuses all his attention on what he doesn't have and how he can control the environment around him. Abuse allows him to control the person he is with by beating them into submission. A man who was emotionally secure could allow his partner to think and act on her own without physical, verbal or mental abuse.

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About the Author

Lynda Lampert began writing professionally in 2000 with the publishing of her romance novel, "My Lady Elizabeth." Her work has also appeared in the "Pittsburgh Tribune Review." Lampert obtained an associate's degree in nursing from Mercyhurst College Northeast.