How to Ask a Guy Where You Stand

Written by michelle blessing
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How to Ask a Guy Where You Stand
Asking a guy where you stand doesn't have to be difficult. (Comstock Images/Comstock/Getty Images)

Figuring out where you stand with your guy can be intimidating, especially if you aren't sure how to approach the subject. Most men will be willing to give you an honest answer if you simply ask. However, you can also use some creative approaches to finding out where you stand with your man, especially if he is more close-lipped or the relationship is just starting out.

Skill level:
Moderately Easy


  1. 1

    Talk to your guy about another couple you know who are getting serious in their relationship. Assess his reaction to this by watching his body language and the tone of the conversation. A man who is ready to get serious will be happy for the couple and express genuine emotion regarding this. A man who is not ready to get serious will likely make jokes about "being collared" or "tied down" by a relationship.

  2. 2

    Talk about future plans with your guy and see how he responds. A man who wants to be serious will be willing to make future plans with you without any hesitation. A man who is unwilling to commit will want to keep his options open and not be willing to make plans too far in advance.

  3. 3

    Enlist in the help of a man's friends to see where you stand. Contrary to popular belief, men do talk to their friends about women they are serious about. Talk to one of his close friends about how he feels about you or ask him to do your dirty work by finding out where you stand with your man.

  4. 4

    Simply ask your man if he sees a future with you. Being upfront with a man might be the best approach to finding out where you stand and if the relationship is likely to continue.

Tips and warnings

  • Ask a man where you stand only if you are prepared to hear the answer, whether positive or negative. You may get an answer you do not want to hear but at least you will know.

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