Breaking up with a boyfriend is never an easy endeavour. Even if you have a lot of hard feelings toward him, ending a relationship can be an emotionally tasking and stressful experience. One way in which to break up with a boyfriend is by writing him a letter, which can be helpful in providing both of you with ample time to process all of your thoughts and feelings.
- Skill level:
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Things you need
- Pencil or pen
Write your letter when you're in a calm state of mind. Break-ups involve a lot of intense emotion. Avoid writing down your feelings when you aren't thinking straight and are consumed with anger or sadness. Give yourself a few days to collect your thoughts and regain composure before attempting to write the break-up letter to your boyfriend. Be sure that you're absolutely certain about what you want to say to him, and what action you want to take.
Write your letter in your own handwriting. Romantic relationships are intimate, personal and close. It can come across as impersonal and cruel to send a break-up letter through an e-mail message or to type one out; instant messages and text messages are even more impersonal. Be sure that your break-up letter is handwritten for a more personal touch.
Be concise. Don't beat around the bush with your break-up letter, and don't leave your boyfriend with any feelings of uncertainty or confusion as to what you want to do. Make it clear to him that you want to break up. One way in which to make things clear is by writing a short letter, between three and five paragraphs, if possible. Forcing him to read through six pages just to find out that you want to end the relationship is unnecessary.
Write honestly. Tell your boyfriend the truth about why you wish to end the relationship. If it's due to a lack of things in common, excessive fighting or simply drifting apart, let him know. It's his right to know what's going on in your head. Don't keep him wondering.
Avoid blame. The point of the break-up letter is to move on, not to start a war. Avoid coming across as angry, and don't try to stir up any negative emotions. Simply state things as facts without being incendiary or accusatory.
Talk about the good times. You were in a relationship with him for a reason, after all. Express gratitude over all of the laughs you shared together, all of the cosy Sunday evenings on the couch and all of the marathon phone conversations. Try to leave the relationship on the best note possible, as difficult as it may sound.
Let it rest a bit before sending it. Before sending your letter in the mail, wait a day or so to make sure that your feelings are thought out and that you're OK with what you said to him. This can be a helpful safety measure in the event that you change your mind about the break-up. Sleep on the letter before taking any action.
Tips and warnings
- After sending out the letter, it can be a good idea to avoid communicating with your ex-boyfriend for a period of time. This can help you both in the process of healing and moving on. Allow the letter to serve as closure.
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