How to ask someone on a coffee date

Updated April 17, 2017

Sometimes when you like someone, you want to ask them out but are hesitant to take the jump and invite her to dinner. Sharing coffee instead of a full meal is a great way to test out the waters and see if your personalities are compatible when you are just getting to know each other. Asking someone out for coffee also comes with less pressure than a drink, because coffee dates are generally during the day in a coffee shop as opposed to at night in a bar. If you want to ask someone on a coffee date, make sure she likes coffee, suggest a specific location with something great and be confident.

Be confident. People who are secure in themselves are always more attractive to the opposite sex, and the person will be more likely to say, "yes." Do your full morning routine and put on an outfit that makes you feel good on the day you intend to ask for your coffee date; it will help you look and feel your best. When you make the decision to ask the person out, walk up and do it without hesitating.

Prepare an opening. Having something specific to say is always better than a simple, "hello," and increases your chances of sparking an actual conversation. If the person is someone you know through mutual friends, mention something having to do with the people you know in common. If the person is someone you have seen around your neighbourhood, tell him or her that you noticed you are crossing paths and ask if she lives or works nearby.

Wait for an appropriate moment when the person is alone, unoccupied and available. Do not go up to someone to start a conversation when she is talking on the phone, absorbed in what appears to be work, in the middle of taking a bite of food or having a discussion with a group of people.

Make a specific suggestion at a specific place. You can mention a specific coffee drink that you love at a nearby coffee shop and suggest you try one together, or talk about the great atmosphere of a new place that you would like to check out. When you ask someone out for coffee, or dinner for that matter, you will be much more likely to get a "yes" if you have a specific plan in mind.

Avoid giving physical compliments. Most people, particularly women, tend to be cautious of dating people whom they did not meet through mutual friends. If you mention the person's looks, she will be much more likely to think that all you are interested in is sex. Instead, compliment the her personality or talents.

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About the Author

Sophie Southern has been a freelance writer since 2004. Her writing has been featured in "JPG" magazine and on Southern holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in photography from the School of Visual Arts.