How to Get a Guy in a Band

Written by natalie saar
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Many girls have dreamed of dating the "guy in the band," and you many have as well. The question is how to make it happen. When attempting to date a musician, it is very important to remember that every one is different and there are no foolproof strategies that work every time, but there are things you can do that will help give you a better chance at dating your dream man.

Skill level:


  1. 1

    Go to the band's shows. Try to stand or sit in the front during the shows. The musicians often have bright lights on them, so your guy may not be able to see you in the audience, but if you are up front you have a better chance of being visible.

  2. 2

    Have fun at the shows, but do not be rowdy and distracting. They are the ones performing, not you. After the show see if your guy is walking around and compliment him on the show. Do not fawn over him, but be complimentary. Know the band's material.

  3. 3

    Go to the bar the band goes to after the show and bump into him again. Strike up a conversation. Remember to be confident at all times. He may be in a band, but you are an amazing, attractive person and that is important to remind yourself of. Do not think he is out of your league.

  4. 4

    Get his number while talking to him. Wait a day or two and then call him. Invite him to a show or another fun outing, like bowling, which will give you a chance to know each other without the awkward dinner settings.

  5. 5

    Listen to him when he talks and pay attention to details. Keep conversation light and fun. If things go well, there should be a second date.

  6. 6

    Tell him more about yourself slowly, but remember certain principles that are universal no matter who the man is, like asking questions about him. Do not talk about yourself the majority of the time. Ask interesting questions, not generic ones like "How many brother and sisters do you have?" unless he talks a lot about his family.

  7. 7

    Do not appear desperate and call too often. He is in a band, which means his band mates, family and friends currently come before you, because you are a new addition to his life. He may be touring, recording or making appearances. You need to be patient with his schedule and understand that he is busy.

Tips and warnings

  • Be interesting. If you have the same or similar interests, you can carry on a conversation with him. If there is not good conversaion, the chances of having a relationship with him go down significantly.
  • If he does not return your calls, let it go. He may not be interested in a relationship with you. This does not mean anything bad about you, simply that you are different from what he is looking for.
  • Do not get jealous or cause a scene. He is going to hug women and they are going to ask him for pictures. They are his fans, so he has an allegiance to them. Just remember he has chosen to be with you, not them.

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