A lot of single men go to clubs hoping to pick up a girl on the dance floor. Many end up disappointed because they are either too shy to try or they are too aggressive and scare the girls away without realising it. Picking up a girl is a delicate art. You have to find the right balance to be successful, and you have to approach the right girl.
- Skill level:
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Bring a friend to the club with you. Most girls don't come to clubs alone and can be suspicious of guys who do.
Scan the dance floor for girls you find interesting. Check their hands for wedding rings. A girl wearing a wedding ring is either married or pretending to be married because she does not wish to be approached. Also, avoid any girls wearing bachelorette attire, such as a baseball cap with a veil on it, which is very common at clubs. Pick one girl to focus on at a time.
Make your way to the area where the girl you're interested in is dancing. Dance as you ease your way over to the girl's group. Make eye contact and smile. If she smiles or in another way acknowledges you, walk up to her, quickly introduce yourself and ask if she'd like to dance with you. If she says no, don't assume she is playing hard to get and persist. It's OK to ask one more time in a casual way, but if she still turns you down, return to Step 2 and repeat until you get a yes.
Dance casually with the girl; respect her personal space. Lean close to her ear to ask her name and what she does for a living; it will be hard to hear otherwise. Stay away from pickup lines like "Do you come here often?" Ask her follow-up questions based on what she says to let her know you are listening. Look in her eyes as you talk to her.
Wait until a song or two goes by. Then ask if she would like you to buy her a drink. If she says yes, let her accompany you to the bar. A lot of women want to watch their drinks being poured due to safety concerns.
Lead her over to a table and ask her more questions about her life. Also, volunteer some information about yours. Avoid controversial topics like religion, politics or exes. Avoid being negative and complaining about anything. Keep it light. If the conversation goes well and she seems interested--that is, she is not constantly looking away or she hasn't already left--ask her if she wants to go dance again or if you can get her phone number to call her for a date.
Tips and warnings
- Don't take it personally if a girl is not interested. Perhaps she has a boyfriend or you just aren't her type. Getting depressed will just make you look less attractive to the other women in the club.
- A lot of women go to clubs specifically to meet men. They expect people to try to pick them up, so make yourself stand out by being sweet and polite.
- Never get grabby with a woman you just met. If you want to touch her to show interest, lightly brush her arm or put your hand on the small of her back.
- Don't drink too much. No one likes to be hit on by someone who is slurring his words and falling over.
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