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Pet shaming 2: The disturbingly funny craze continues

Let’s face it; being online for an unhealthy amount of time makes for the sickly human equivalent of man’s best friend munching down on its own faeces. For example, last month we all learnt that a fox says: “Gering-ding-ding-ding-ringerdingering.” If you have no idea what we are talking about then lucky you. Fads appear in your morning Newsfeed and are gone before you give your Smartphone a sweet kiss goodnight. However, Pet Shaming has become an online institution. Actual “Reporters” at Fox News recently claimed that “pet-damage” costs almost £2 billion a year (how such statistics are compiled remains a mystery) and humans are getting their own back. It’s a good thing we choose not to take large news corporations or Pet Shaming too seriously. So sit back and enjoy our second installment of the very best of Pet Shaming.

\#20

"I ate my 9 year old owner's art project -- it had marshmallows on it -- I couldn't resist."

\#19

''I throw a fit every time my mama tries to brush me... now I'm naked."

Related: 10 Best dog breeds for families

\#18

"I chewed my mom's shoes two hours before she needed them."

Related: Expert advice on training puppies not to bite

\#17

"I'm in the box of shame today because: I threw up." A repeat offender.

Related: Your kid wants a pet... But you don't

\#16

"I bark incessantly at nothing."

Related: How to train a dog with a dog whistle

\#15

"I have a green thumb."

Related: Grow up: Into the world of vertical gardening

\#14

"I steal sandwiches. I am a complete bastard."

Related: The healthiest sandwich you'll ever eat!

\#13

"I chewed mom's heating pad and ipad charger cords in half. I'm glad I didn't die."

Related: Everything you wanted to know about Google Glass but were too embarrassed to ask

\#12

"He digs holes. She digs holes." The blame game.

Related: A psychoanalysis of your favourite cartoon characters

\#11

"My momma brought out the nativity set and I peed on the Virgin Mary..." Bless you.

Related: 14 Signs that you're actually an idiot...

\#10

"I eat bunny poop!"

Related: The 15 strangest phobias

\#9

"I chewed the face of a stuffed elephant."

Related: The ultimate Halloween dog costumes

\#8

"I ask for back scratches then fart in the back scratcher's face."

Related: How to end dog flatulence

\#7

"I peed on the hamster."

Related: 14 Classic ways to "troll" on the Internet

\#6

"I ate my breakfast and then ran over and ate the blind guy's breakfast."

Related: 16 Thoughts that make you undeniably British

\#5

"I destroyed Christmas."

Related: Britain's strangest Christmas customs

\#4

"I beg this cat to lick my ears."

Related: 10 most unexpected celebrity crushes

\#3

"I pee a little when I see strangers outside the window and I know that is wrong, so I lick it all up so mom won't see..."

Related: 15 Reasons why the Internet has ruined your life

\#2

"I like to watch." Ahem, we can only assume what he is referring to is the cricket.

\#1

Again, the only reasonable conclusion that we can come to is that it's you lot that should be ashamed.

Related: Click here for even more Pet Shaming...

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About the Author

Michael Keys has more than 10 years´ experience in online media and press journalism.