Practical Weapons for Use in a Zombie Attack

By bert divietri & andrew marshall
bert divietri & andrew marshall

Intended humorously. Friends, neighbors, or strangers are NOT zombies:

Bert and Andrew have survived over 30 Zombie attacks in their 15 year career as Zombie Survival Specialists. Together they started the ZSA (Zombie Survival Association) to help local communities in the prevention of zombie outbreaks and to train conscientious citizens in zombie facts in hopes of increasing survival rates should things get ugly. Andrew is a chain smoker whose expertise is more physical than verbal. Bert (AKA "Bert the Basher" in parts of rural Michigan and "Brain-Buster Bert" in cities like Flint, Detroit, and East Lansing) handles most of the speaking during seminars and workshops. The ZSA is under investigation from the IRS for tax evasion, but it seems their accountant is undead and thus unable to present the proper documents in their defense.

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