The Seven Stages of Grief for Breaking Up

Written by cassandra scheidies
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The Seven Stages of Grief for Breaking Up
Healing from a break-up requires time. (broken heart shaped rose image by dwags from

After a break-up, the seven stages of grief play an important role in recovery. While these stages of grief often play out in traumatic situations, the grief stages manifest in specific ways after a break up and consist of a variety of emotions that the griever must face.

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In the immediate time after a break-up, the griever may still think that she and her partner will mend the relationship. Even if the break-up was permanent, the griever may tell herself that she and her former partner could reunite if the former partner will change. According to, this stage allows for emotional protection to keep the griever from experiencing overwhelming emotion. A person will move on from the denial phase when she accepts the finality of the relationship.


After a relationship, the griever may blame himself for everything that went wrong. He may tell himself that if only he could have done certain things better, he and his former partner would still be together. Getting through this stage requires that the griever admit that the end of the relationship was caused by both partners. He must learn from his mistakes.


This period of sadness always follows a break-up. The griever should spend the time experiencing the emotion rather than trying to hide from it. This stage fills the griever with insecurity and makes it hard to go about daily tasks. Supportive friends, exercise and counselling may help the griever move past this stage.


The griever may start to feel anger toward her previous partner. She might also feel irrationally angry toward others in her life. Healing comes when the griever allows herself to fully feel the anger, according to Journaling and exercising may help the griever move past the anger.

Upward Turn

At one point during the grief process, the feelings become easier to manage. This shows that the grief has run its course. The griever learns to experience and live life without his former partner.


The griever begins to build life without her former partner. She starts to think rationally again. A life forms apart from the relationship.


This means that the griever fully accepts the break-up and can move on with life. Dating becomes a reality again. The griever shows acceptance when he starts to look for a new relationship without giving much care to his old one.

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