What Are Signs of Selfishness?

Updated March 18, 2017

While it is OK to be selfish and think of yourself occasionally, some people take it too far and are selfish a majority of the time. This type of person can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. It is important to know the warning signs of a selfish person so you can better evaluate whether you would like to be her friend.

Lack of Consideration

Someone who is selfish by nature shows no consideration for anyone else. He is more likely to push past others to get what he wants. He will not ask what anyone else wants to do. Instead, he will tell everyone what he wants to do and that is the end of the discussion. Watch out for someone who does not think about what you would think or feel about something, but simply moves ahead with his plans.

Her Needs Come First

If your friend is selfish, she may only turn to you when she is feeling unhappy or needs help. Any other time, you are left to pursue her and she is more likely to tell you she doesn't have the time when you need help. She will only call you when she needs someone to talk to about a problem in her life and will only come over when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Neither of these things is a bad thing if it is balanced with casual conversation. But a selfish person will rarely call or visit just to talk or hang out and will rarely ask you how you are feeling or what is going on in your life.

Ignore Issues

Every friendship has issues where the two friends do not agree. This does not mean that you can no longer be friends; you only have a difference of opinion. However, a selfish person feels that his way is the only right way to think about it and will push you away if you do not agree with him or will leave if you try to address these issues. This makes it very difficult to maintain the relationship on a healthy level.

Blame Placement

A person who has a selfish personality will rarely take the blame for the consequences of her actions. She tends to think that everything negative that happens has to be the fault of someone else. She is quick to point the finger at anyone else when things go wrong because nothing she has done could possibly turn out badly. In contrast, if the outcome is positive, she is quick to take the credit.


The main driving factor behind everything that a selfish person does is how he can benefit. In fact, if you have a friend who frequently asks you what is in it for him when you bring up an idea, he is indicating to you that he is selfish. If what you are proposing does not benefit him in any way, he is most likely going to refuse the idea. However, if it will benefit him, he will be quick to accept the proposal and may even take charge of the idea and maybe even the credit for it.

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About the Author

Kimberly Turtenwald began writing professionally in 2000. She has written content for various websites, including Lights 2 You, Online Consultation, Corpus Personal Injury and more. Turtenwald studied editing and publishing at Wisconsin Lutheran College.