How to stop being a victim of scapegoating

Written by noreen wainwright
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How to stop being a victim of scapegoating
Sometimes one member of the family becomes the scapegoat. (Goodshoot RF/Goodshoot/Getty Images)

It is unpleasant to find yourself a victim of scapegoating, whether as an individual, or a member of a group. You may be aware straightaway that you are a scapegoat -- or more likely -- this will come as a slowly dawning realisation. Few people like being seen as a victim, and it can be an unpleasant shock to admit that you have found yourself in this position. It is not always easy either, to identify the scapegoating process. The person who is doing this to another, is, according to the Scapegoating Demon website often deceiving himself and is in denial of what kind of activity he is truly engaged in.

Skill level:
Moderately Challenging


  1. 1

    Train yourself to look at the whole situation, rather than jumping to the most obvious conclusion. Sometimes, in a family, it is easiest for everyone to blame one person for all that goes wrong in the family. Soon, this is no longer questioned and everybody else is relieved of the need to look at their behaviour. Develop a consciousness of this and -- whether you are the victim or invited to lay blame -- stop accepting this.

  2. 2

    Question the person or people who are making you a scapegoat. Expect that they will be angry and deny the truth of what you are saying. They are unlikely to appreciate having their world view threatened. Calmly and assertively, stick to your point of view. Point out times when you have been treated unfairly or blamed for something that was not your fault. If you feel nervous about doing this, ask for the support of a family member or friend.

  3. 3

    Maintain a calm and impartial attitude when people try to recruit you to their cause. According the Clear Reflection coaching website, sometimes employees urge one person to complain, to take the blame; while they quietly retreat to the background.The person who complains may well be perceived as the troublemaker. Avoid always being the person who jumps in to state everybody's grievances.

Tips and warnings

  • You may find a therapist helpful, if you are frequently a victim of scapegoating.

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