How to deal with an ex-husband rationally

Written by natalie lyda
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How to deal with an ex-husband rationally
Dealing with your ex-husband rationally will help ease the stress of divorce. (Pixland/Pixland/Getty Images)

Nearly 50 per cent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, leaving plenty of women with ex-husbands to deal with. Although your former mate may annoy you or have done something to make you angry, dealing with them rationally will make divorce a smoother, less stressful process. Not to mention, when children are involved, dealing with an ex-husband rationally is imperative to the well-being of your kids. Nonetheless, finding ways to communicate calmly can be challenging in the midst of divorce.

Skill level:
Moderately Easy


  1. 1

    Don't try to change your former husband. Realise that you are likely getting divorced because one, or both, of you were unable to change and that any behaviour that you found annoying before is not likely to change now. Accept his behaviour patterns and attitudes and prepare yourself to deal with them so that you are not caught off-guard.

  2. 2

    Try to let go of anger that you have with your ex-husband. Work on your own emotions so that you are able to move on with the next chapter of your life and communicate with your former husband without becoming angry or verbally abusive. Never call your ex-husband names, yell or make threats.

  3. 3

    Make your wants and needs clear when you communicate. Be assertive, but not rude, when making requests and make it clear that you are not blaming him for anything or demanding something, but rather requesting that he work with you as a team. (See Reference 3) Nonetheless, it is also important to recognise when your ex-husband will not honour your requests. Instead of arguing, simply let your former mate know that you will speak to your legal counsel about any requests you are not able to work out between yourselves.

  4. 4

    Walk away from situations that escalate into an argument. While you are capable of controlling your own emotions, you are not able to define how your ex-husband acts. Attempt to influence communications by being respectful and polite. However, if your ex begins acting irrationally, let him know that you are not willing to accept that kind of behaviour and that you would prefer to speak to him in a mature, rational manner.

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