How to Deal With a Man Who Is Scared & Confused of Love?

Updated March 23, 2017

If you enter a relationship excited and eager for love, you may feel hurt if your man doesn't feel the same. For some men, a new love affair doesn't create the same excitement, but instead causes them to feel the decidedly less pleasant emotions of confusion and fear. Though you can't single-handedly take away your guy's love-related fears, you can help him move through these emotions more effectively and get ready to tackle the task of giving and receiving love.

Give him time. If the thought of giving his heart away makes your guy nervous, the worst thing you can do is rush him. Even though your longing to be close to him may leave you wanting to push your relationship forward full-speed, trying to force him to commit too quickly could push him to run from the relationship without looking back. Though you can't give your guy forever to get over his nervousness, let him push the relationship forward at his own speed and see whether this speed is one that you can handle.

Make your affections known. As Mark D. White, Ph.D., reports for "Psychology Today," many men who are scared of love feel this fear because they worry that their love won't be returned. If you care for your man, tell him this, taking away his fear that you won't feel for him what he feels for you.

Admit your fear. If you are as scared of falling deeply and irrevocably in love as your man is, tell him. If you admit that love makes you more than a bit nervous as well, you may be able to show him that the emotions he feels are not his alone. Instead, you are going through the experience together, strengthening your bond.

Be sensitive to your man's fears. Your guy's fear of what you have so long longed for -- love -- may seem silly to you; however, you must remain supportive and at least attempt to understand where he is coming from instead of telling him that he is being silly. If you are dismissive of your guy's concerns, he may have more trouble overcoming his nervousness as he will not feel that he has an ally in dealing with this relationship-related trepidation.

Determine the time at which you must cut your losses. While you certainly hope that your relationship works out, stagnating in a relationship that is doomed to failure is a losing proposition. Figure out your wants and needs when deciding how much time you can commit to the relationship before moving on. Take into account time-related factors such as your desire for children as well as how much emotion you can stomach putting into the relationship. The answer will vary from individual to individual.

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About the Author

Erin Schreiner is a freelance writer and teacher who holds a bachelor's degree from Bowling Green State University. She has been actively freelancing since 2008. Schreiner previously worked for a London-based freelance firm. Her work appears on eHow, and RedEnvelope. She currently teaches writing to middle school students in Ohio and works on her writing craft regularly.