Death is a difficult subject, even for adults. It is often difficult for an adult to find the right words when writing a card to accompany funeral flowers. When an adult needs to sign a flower card coming from a child, the task is potentially more difficult because the adult must decide whether to involve the child or simply sign the card herself. Hospice of Southeastern Connecticut says children react differently to death based on their ages, so be aware of this as you decide what to do.
Speak to your child if he is old enough to understand what death is. Ask what flowers he would like to send and what he wants to write on the card. Ask your child to tell you what she wants to say if she is unable to write, and write the card for her. If your child is too young to say what she wants, write a simple, loving message such as "I love you and will miss you, Nana," and sign it yourself with your child's name.
Tell your child it's OK if he does not want to write anything. Remind your child about the good memories he has of the person who passed if he is having trouble deciding what to write. Suggest writing something like "Remember when we went to the beach? I had a great time fishing with you!" Allow your child the space he needs if he seems overwhelmed. Don't force him to write anything or sign the card if he resists.
Give your child a pen, even if she is unable to write legibly, and encourage her to sign her name or mark the card with her special signature. Doing this allows your child to feel a part of the process.
Things you need
- Blue or black pen