How to Get Over a Friend's Betrayal

Written by ehow relationships & family editor
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One of the most painful things you can experience is betrayal by someone you trust. Friends who betray you in any way wound you to your core. You may feel shock, anger and pain initially, but in time you can come to terms with these feelings. Follow these tips to get over a friend's betrayal and put the hurt behind you.

Skill level:
Challenging

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Instructions

  1. 1

    Acknowledge the betrayal. You can't deal with it if you just ignore what happened. Try to understand the betrayal and find out why the person betrayed you. You aren't trying to excuse what happened, but you may find the person wasn't intentionally trying to hurt you.

  2. 2

    Speak to the friend who betrayed you. Use "I" statements when you say how you feel instead of "you" statements which attack the other person. Be honest and admit how you are feeling. Acknowledge how hurt you are, how sad you feel and how angry you are.

  3. 3

    Confide in someone like a trusted adult or a counselor, especially if you feel depressed. Talk to a friend who cares about you. Pick a friend to help you through this betrayal and ask for advice and support.

  4. 4

    Heal yourself. Your friend wounded you, so you need to heal before you can move on. Put some distance between you and let your soul recover from the betrayal. You can't make a rational decision when you are in pain.

  5. 5

    Decide if the friend is worth it. List the good and the bad things about this person, then decide if the friend is truly sorry. Make sure you get a genuine apology and not just excuses.

  6. 6

    Take small steps. Your friend needs to earn the trust back, but it takes time.

  7. 7

    Rebuild the friendship or end it. Even if your friend is truly sorry, you don't have to remain friends. You might not be able to fix the friendship. Forgive the person either way because it only hurts you to hold onto any bitterness and hatred.

Tips and warnings

  • Don't say anything in anger because you might not be able to undo the damage.

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