Funerals are times that are difficult for all members of the family, and in particular, for granddaughters. Sometimes children can be too young to understand death fully and may not have the skills to write a funeral card on their own. Helping a granddaughter write a funeral card can be a way to help her grieve and understand the process of passing on.
Keep It Simple
The goal of writing a card from a child to a deceased grandparent is to convey a simple message of love and affection that is easily understandable to a child. For a card from a granddaughter who is under the age of five, the message could simply state, "I love you, Grandma! Love, Eloise." For ages five to 12, you can help the child craft a longer, more personalised message.
- The goal of writing a card from a child to a deceased grandparent is to convey a simple message of love and affection that is easily understandable to a child.
- For ages five to 12, you can help the child craft a longer, more personalised message.
Include a Personal Memory
Ask the grandchild if she can remember a particular story or anecdote that can be written in the card. For instance, maybe she remembers how grandpa took her bike-riding or how she used to make cookies with grandmother after church on Sundays. This little note of remembrance will give the child a sense of inclusion in the family's grieving process and help her remember the good times instead of focusing on the sadness of death.
Use a Personal Signature
Even if you must write the text of the card for your granddaughter, ask her to sign the card. Even if she doesn't write that well (or at all), you can have her make a mark after the closing on the card. This will make her feel important and allow her to feel as though she has given something personal to the grandparent who's passed on.
Don't Force It
According to Dr. Spock, children must be allowed to leave funerals if they become too upset. If the grandchild seems frightened or nervous about writing a card to a deceased grandparent, gently offer your help in writing the card. If she insists on not taking part in the process, allow her the space to mourn in her own way.