How to Use Reverse Psychology in Dating
Give people any indication that you took part of their control away and they're likely to do what they can to get it back. Reverse psychology allows you to have control while letting others think they do. Whether it's issuing a challenge or acting disinterested, using reverse psychology in dating can help you nudge a person into doing what you want.
Avoid always being available. When people know you don't always have free time to chat or get together, they tend to feel more special when you do have time for them. Not always being available, such as not canceling plans with friends to go on a last-minute date, shows potential mates that you have other things going on in your life and that your time is valuable. The more valuable and rare something is, the more people tend to want it and appreciate it.
- Avoid always being available.
- When people know you don't always have free time to chat or get together, they tend to feel more special when you do have time for them.
Act partially disinterested. A person typically likes a challenge and the more you provide one, the more she may try to win you over. For example, return her call, flirt a little, but cut the conversation short. If you make plans, give her a time you have to leave to go elsewhere. When you act somewhat disinterested, such as not agreeing to a date with a girl that is used to always getting any guy she wants, her confidence may get shaken up a bit. You then become a prize in her eyes, the one she can't have and has to work to get. People tend to value what they have to work for more than something they are given.
- Act partially disinterested.
- When you act somewhat disinterested, such as not agreeing to a date with a girl that is used to always getting any guy she wants, her confidence may get shaken up a bit.
Mention the idea of someone else. When a man feels that another man is stepping into his place in your life, he may tend to try that much harder to keep his spot. For example, if you hint that you're interested in going to a specific formal restaurant and the person states that he isn't going anywhere that involves wearing a tie, let him know that he doesn't have to. Put a smile on and tell him not to worry, that you already know someone else that wants to go with you. Chances are he will quickly change his stance on wearing that tie.
- Mention the idea of someone else.
- Put a smile on and tell him not to worry, that you already know someone else that wants to go with you.
Issue a challenge. Telling a woman you don't think she can or will do something is usually the equivalent of challenging her to do it to prove you wrong. For example, when you tell a woman you don't think she'll remember to take the garbage out by 8 p.m., there is a good chance the trash can will be on the curb by 7:30 p.m.
Let him think his action was his idea. If you tell someone not to do something, there is a good chance the person will do it anyway. It's the act of wanting to retain control. An example is if a man says he's staying home to watch a movie when the two of you already committed to having dinner with two friends. You want him to go, but arguing your point may either result in a fight or him being more insistent about staying home. Instead, tell him that he's welcome not to go, but that your friends are going to be hurt and disappointed when you tell them why he didn't come. He will likely record the movie and go to dinner.
- Let him think his action was his idea.
- You want him to go, but arguing your point may either result in a fight or him being more insistent about staying home.
Lauren Romano became a freelance writer in 2007. Her work appears on various websites and in print. Romano specializes in a variety of topics including dating, travel, New York City, decorating and budget living.