We ask Uncle Google just about everything, safe in the knowledge that it's just between you, the computer and a quick "delete history" from ever being revealed to family or friends. Well, Google giveth, and Google taketh away --- our privacy and self-respect, that is. All those embarrassing questions we once reserved for our lawyer or GP are now in the hands of the world’s largest search engine. Here are the weirdest searches that somebody, somewhere is guilty of (especially the tax-conscious pirate). Thanks for sharing, Eric Schmidt (go on, Google him).
"Is there a way to friend request everyone on Myspace?"
We know the whole concept of social media is relatively new, but needy "friends" are as old as the hills.
"Should I go down to the police station to talk?"
This fella's "Spidey sense" must be on the blink again. We're not lawyers but our advice would be to call one first... just saying.
"Can I file my wife's tax return without her consent?"
We're all about trusting relationships here at eHow UK. If this unsavoury character happened to forget to delete his browsing history then he might be expecting a call from the tax man and a divorce lawyer.
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"High heeled hiking boots."
This probably doesn't even need a snide remark but we just can't help ourselves. Cue the Sex and The City background music and the girls pondering their latest fashion/moral dilemma, while sipping on a Cosmopolitan.
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"Should you get married if your man is in-love with another woman?"
Again, we're not experts on the whole love and marriage thing nor do we claim to be the next psychic Internet sensation -- but we do predict dark days ahead for this one.
Related: How to know if someone is lying
Using Google as a dictionary.
Okay, we know this doesn't exactly fall into the strange category. But it is a little embarrassing for the human race as a whole when we consider just how many of us now use a search engine to check spelling mistakes. This is what happens when we no longer read books. Thanks, Nintendo.
Related: 8 Best British books of all time
"How much is my eye ball worth?"
We know times are tough but has Blade Runner really come true? Well, to be perfectly honest they really should have put their eye colour into the search, it makes all the difference to potential buyers.
"What colours do rich people wear?"
One is most amused... Regal colours, right?
"I feel that people will find out that I don't know my job."
We've all had that sinking feeling, my friend. Keep your head down, tap the keyboard at regular intervals and just generally look busy. You'll get along just fine.
Related: The worst jobs in the UK
"Give me a template explaining how you are a competent adult when it comes to decision-making."
So turning 40 is the new 28 after all. We love how this Googler (we can make-up words, we're real adults) is so specific and has asked for a template to avoid any allegations of plagiarism -- he's already on his way to becoming an adult if you ask us. Again, we find the trick to being a competent adult largely revolves around the same key concepts in the last slide; Keep your head down and look like you know what you're doing, because nobody else does.
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"Is it legal to name all three sons the exact same name?"
Probably not illegal but very cruel and just a tad on the confusing side. Then again you'll never be accused of forgetting your kids' names... don't hold your breath for the best parents award.
Related: The most unfortunate surnames
"What does the bible say about bigfoot?"
Before Google came along people looked toward more conventional means for the answers. Unfortunately, there's only so much one book can cover.
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"If a man wears a toupee will the airport metal detector go off?"
Since the heightened global security we all find flying a little more stressful. It seems some of us have extra little worries. Bless.
Related: How to avoid jet-lag
"What does the bible says about other forms of adultery."
We're pretty sure that it was clear cut about this one. "Other forms," we have no idea what that even means. This must have been a lawyer.
"What does rhino milk taste like?"
We're all for trying new things but perhaps the first question should be how to extract rhino milk and live to taste it. Live and let die...
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"Are ransoms paid to pirates tax deductible?"
It's actually a fair question if it wasn't so... Ludicrous. We salute you, socially-conscious pirate man.
"I feel like I am on fire every time I eat."
We would lay off the Vindaloo and get that checked out...
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"112 gripes about the French"
We Brits really do know how to hold a grudge. Yes, we don't have the best relationship with our neighbours but 112, really? Any nation that invented Brie and Croissants deserve a second chance.
"I want to be a dog and be walked everyday what could be wrong with me?"
Nothing, mate, nothing at all.
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"A midget dressed as Amy Winehouse."
Since her untimely death in 2011, it has become quite the thing to dress-up as the soul sensation. But talk about strange requests and offending numerous demographics with just one sentence. You people disturb us.