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How to Write a Letter to an Estranged Mother

Updated April 17, 2017

If you have been at odds with your mother, writing a letter can help you rebuild the relationship and overcome the barriers that caused the rift in the first place. Before you begin, you should first think about what part you played in the conflict and not just focus on the things your mother did. Keep your goals in mind, which could include improving your relationship and sharing important news about your life with your mother. However, during this process, realise that your mother might not be receptive to your attempts to improve the relationship.

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  1. State your reason for writing the letter. This could include because you want to make amends or you want to introduce your mother to your children.

  2. Apologise to your mother for any hurt you caused. However, do not expect anything of her in return. Remember that this could be a one-way letter.

  3. Extend forgiveness to your mother, but avoid excessive details. Do your best to put all arguments behind you.

  4. Finish the letter by telling your mother how you hope she will respond. Perhaps you tell her you would like to have a phone conversation or meet for coffee, if she is open to it.

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About the Author

Thea Theresa English is a freelance writer who lives in New Orleans. She has written articles on career development, maintaining healthy relationships, politics and cultural issues. She is currently a graduate student at Tulane University where she will receive her Master of Liberal Arts degree.

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