Ways Not to Be Too Clingy for Guys

Written by aubrey warshaw
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Ways Not to Be Too Clingy for Guys
Clinginess is one of the biggest turn-offs in a relationship. (Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images)

If you're clingy in a relationship, it can be a major turn-off. Being clingy might show that you're interested in the person, but it also makes you appear needy and can be exhausting to both parties. Clinginess also puts you in a vulnerable situation by giving the other person control over you and the relationship. For guys, there are many ways to stop acting clingy in your relationship.

Pacing the Relationship

Avoid revealing your love and feelings to a woman too early in a relationship. For example, don't send a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates to her work the day after you first meet a woman in a coffee shop. It can put you in a vulnerable and uncomfortable situation if the feelings aren't mutual. Even if you feel strongly that she is the one, wait until an appropriate time in the relationship to share your feelings. Refrain from pressuring a woman into a relationship with you. For example, don't try to convince the woman to be in a relationship with you because you feel it's right or you'd make a great boyfriend. You will come across as manipulative, demanding and desperate, and you likely will cause her to run away.


Refrain from excessive text messages or phone calls. Guys appear needy when they leave several phone messages before a phone call has been returned. Excessive communication might show that you care, but it also can be annoying to the other person. Refrain from thinking that just because your last girlfriend stopped answering your phone calls and cheated on you, that all women do the same. Give her the benefit of the doubt and remember that maintaining some space in any relationship is healthy. Avoid staying on the phone for hours on end with the other person. Instead, limit your phone calls with her. Calling someone all the time will show you're needy.


Avoid always being available when a woman wants to spend time with you. For example, if your girlfriend asks you when you're free to go out next, don't reply by telling her you're free any time of the day or night. There must be balance, as you don't want to appear disinterested, but you also don't want to appear needy and readily available. Never be afraid to decline an invitation if you've already made plans with your friends. Don't be the guy who cancels his weekly poker night with his guy friends because a woman wanted to make plans with him during that time. You shouldn't feel obligated to always take your girlfriend with you when you're out with friends. Don't expect her to cancel her plans or drop everything for you. Avoid getting upset when you try to make plans with her, but she tells you that she'll be busy celebrating her friend's birthday. Allow her to maintain her independence by being able to spend time with people and to be engaged in activities apart from you. Don't monopolise the other person's time.

Hobbies and Interests

Develop hobbies and interests outside of the relationship. Having different hobbies and interests will help strengthen the relationship, as there will be balance in both people's lives. For example, you might choose to watch football games with your friends while she takes up a knitting class with her friends. Don't be the guy who feels the need to take up knitting to spend more time with her. Instead, having your own interests and hobbies will allow you both to discuss what you each did that night. Hobbies and interests also will help prevent you from monopolising her time.

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