Signs That He Is Selfish

Updated November 21, 2016

Selfishness is one of the major enemies of relationships. The recognition of selfishness is a struggle for most people. Fortunately, there are signs evident in some males that they are selfish. Knowing how to identify these signs helps you learn to cope with his selfish behaviour or warns you to run from him in the opposite direction.

Lack of Consideration for Others

He doesn't care about the success and failures of others. He's only centred on himself. He doesn't look for ways to help someone in need. A man who refuses to open doors or practice other types of common courtesy shows a lack of consideration for others. This type of behaviour could also be shown by a football player who is only focused on his own successes and doesn't care if his teammate sprained his ankle and has to sit out of practice for several weeks, as long as it doesn't affect him.

Exaggerated Sense of Self-Importance.

He fails to consider the impact his actions have on others. He thinks too highly of his actions. He believes others are jealous of him. Whatever he does, in his view, makes him a star, and he has the impression that he is bearing heroic responsibility for his family or company. He tends to overestimate his abilities and often admires himself on small accomplishments. For example, this type of behaviour is shown by a husband after fixing a clogged drain in the kitchen sink. Even though the task could've easily been performed by anyone, he credits himself for being the only one capable of fixing it.

Talks about Himself Excessively

Each conversation he's involved in becomes centred on him. He begins each conversation by talking about himself or being the topic of the conversation. Even though it's natural to want to talk about yourself, he fails to express a sincere interest in others. People who exercise this kind of behaviour aren't generally fun to be around. This type of behaviour might be shown in the workplace. A co-worker in an adjacent cubicle talks about himself each time you interact. He tells you about his weekend plans, expecting you to show interest, but fails to express an interest in your weekend plans. Even if you beat him to the conversation and tell him first about your weekend plans, he still refuses to show an interest in you.

Uses Others to Obtain His Ends

He gives only when he expects to receive. He can be manipulative to seek his own way. He has ulterior motives that will benefit him. He withdraws attention and affection when he doesn't get what he feels he's entitled to, others' attention and affection. For example, this type of behaviour is shown by a man who enjoyed spending time with his friend Bob because he believed that their friendship could land him a job in Bob's successful business. Upon landing the job, he no longer spends time with Bob because he achieved his objective.

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About the Author

Aubrey Warshaw has experience working in federal, state and local levels of government. He has a Master of Public Policy and a Bachelor of Arts in political science. Warshaw's written work includes policy briefs for a 9-12 institution, letters to constituents and various reports involving policy issues such as education and poverty.