Losing a husband or father is an undoubtedly draining and saddening experience. In such moments of grief, the support of loved ones and neighbours is always welcome even with simple expressions of sympathy. Regardless of how well you knew the deceased, your support and condolences will provide comfort to your friend.
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Tell a Story
Describe a particularly fond memory you had of your friend's husband or father. Be sincere and choose a memory that is meaningful and comforting. The memory could be something simple, like how he always made a point of spending time with his family even though his job was demanding. You could also recount a particularly touching piece of advice that her father gave you. If you didn't know the deceased well, tell a memory about your friend's relationship with him, such as, "I remember you looked forward to his calls every Sunday; he obviously loved and respected you a great deal."
Reference a Legacy
Describing the legacy someone left behind can provide comfort and closure to your friend. Choose an interest that was special to the deceased by saying, "I know how much your father (or husband) cherished his garden. Every time I see flowers bloom I'm reminded of the love and dedication he showed his family, friends and the earth."
Losing a father or husband can feel isolating. Offer your assistance to your friend sincerely and graciously, by saying, "I would like to offer my assistance to you and your family during this stressful time." If you know of specific needs or tasks, such as walking the dog or making dinner, don't hesitate to offer help in those areas specifically. Grief can overwhelm a person's sense of order, and sometimes just knowing help is available provides tremendous comfort.
Offer wishes, thoughts and prayers to your friend and her family during this time. A simple but sincere phrase, such as, "Please know that my deepest thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time," can go along way. If you share a specific faith with your friend, feel free to reference a comforting mantra or religious phrase. Even if you are of a different faith, describe how you asked your church or faith group to pray for your friend and her family.
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