Ending a relationship is always a challenging proposition but when you're living together, the emotional difficulties are compounded with the logistical problems of moving. While informing your boyfriend that you want to move out is bound to be unpleasant, it is a necessary step for both of you to move on with your lives since the relationship isn't working for one or both of you. Honesty is the best policy and you should inform your boyfriend of your decision as soon as you are ready for the move.
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Hint at the break-up by telling your boyfriend you need space and that the relationship isn't working. Adding some distance to the relationship will help make the news you want to move out less of a surprise.
Locate another place to live. As awkward as the break-up may be, it will be even more so if you say you want to move out and then have nowhere else to go. Talk to friends and family to come up with a plan on where you can move to at least in the short-term.
Choose a time to talk to your boyfriend when he is not in the middle of something else and will have a chance to process what you are saying. A Friday night is often ideal if he works a traditional schedule since he'll have a few days off to adjust to the news before going back to work and you can use Saturday and Sunday to relocate your possessions.
Speak to your boyfriend in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. Regardless of the emotional issues that are causing the break-up, you should avoid getting angry or being too sympathetic to his response and losing your nerve. Be kind but also be firm and clearly state that your mind is made up.
Tell your boyfriend honestly why you are breaking up with him. It may be difficult but it makes the actual separation easier if he understands your perspective. He may not agree with you about your reasons, but you expressing them can help both of you move on after you move out.
Establish a specific timetable for when you'll be gone. If you share possessions like furniture or a pet, negotiate who is getting what. Since you're the one moving, you may end up having to part with more joint items than your boyfriend but work it out as amicably as possible. If you share a lease, you'll also have to agree to how much longer you are responsible for rent if you currently pay some. Get the terms in writing so he can't try to get rent from you past the time you agreed to.
Follow the plan that you agreed to. It's not fair to your boyfriend to tell him you'll be gone by Monday and then to stay for another week. That will make the break-up and the move more challenging. Once an agreement is made, honour it to the best of your ability.
Tips and warnings
- Close any joint accounts so your boyfriend can't charge purchases to you or leave bills unpaid that will damage your credit.
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