Love is one of the most powerful and influential human feelings. Sometimes, though, that love is directed toward someone who is inappropriate for you. Maybe you or that person is married or in relationship, or the one you love is an ex or you're not compatible in some way. Perhaps that person displays qualities of an unacceptable mate. Whatever the reason, stop your feelings now by grieving over the relationship or its potential, removing tangible reminders from your life, redecorating and leaning on a support system.
Remove all items that remind you of the person or relationship. This includes any items that the person left at your residence, poetry you wrote or movies you watched together. Delete any songs that reminded you of your feelings.
Grieve the loss of the person from your life. Even if your relationship never started and you want to get over your crush, it's important that you take the time to get over what could have been. Recognise the significance this person had on your life and realise that stopping your feelings will be difficult.
Accept that you can't let your feelings grow for this person. Farouk Radwan, author of "How to Get Over Anyone in a Few Days," insists that you must: "Tell your subconscious mind that it's over." You have to give up any hope that the relationship will work out and admit that it has run its course.
Redecorate your bedroom if you spent significant time there. Give it a fresh look to go along with your fresh emotional start. Paint the walls, move the bed, get new linens or make other small changes that will help you get over the relationship.
Spend time with friends and family. It's easy to lay around and wallow in self-pity. Instead, spend time with positive people to keep things in perspective and enjoy your life again. Lean on people for support if you need to.
Don't be friends with the object of your affection. When you have a romantic connection for someone, it's not easy to revert to the "friend zone." This applies to both real-world and online contact so don't check Facebook or MySpace for updates.
Get out of the house and go to the gym, the movies, the mall or anywhere else as long as you're not with the other person or going to places you used to visit together.
Work on a new you. After living out a soap opera in your mind about your increasing feelings for an inappropriate partner, you probably neglected your own self-development. Take a class in an activity that interests you, exercise, read, volunteer or do other things that make you feel good about yourself and your development.
Seek counselling if necessary. If you have become romantically involved with a married man, you need to examine the reasons for why you did this and why you would be willing to accept someone else's crumbs. Talk to a counsellor if you often find yourself in situations in which you are emotionally involved with inappropriate partners.
- Help Guide.org: Coping with a Breakup or Divorce
- 2 Know Myself; How to Get Over Someone; Farouk Radwan,
- Bossip; 10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup; Feb., 2010
- CNN Living; Five Sure Ways NOT to Get Over Someone; Judy McGuire
- Think Simple Now: How to Get Over a Breakup
- Relationship Information Online: Relationship Break Up -- How To Get Over Someone You Love