How to Create Intrigue in a Text With a Girl

Updated March 23, 2017

One way to make contact with a girl you're interested in is to text her. This is less intimidating than talking to her on the phone or in person and you can use this opportunity to set some groundwork for when you see her in person and hopefully date her. A key point when texting a girl is to create intrigue rather than show her exactly who you are; you should create a situation where she wants to get to know you in person rather than a situation where she feels like she already does. To do this, you need to follow a theme of "less is more" in order to keep yourself in her brain and set the stage for a successful date.

Send a text with actual content. "How's it going?" can be asked in a phone conversation or a real-life conversation. When you are texting a woman you are interested in, you need to show your value rather than look for her value. To do this, you need to bring something new to the table. So, tell her something funny you just saw, mention something that made you think of her or otherwise text her something of substance to keep yourself from being boring.

Wait a while before you text her back. Of course, it's rude to do this if she has asked you a specific question, such as, "What do you want me to order you from the takeout menu?" But if you're just bantering back and forth, there's really no reason to text her back immediately. If you wait a while, you'll build intrigue as she waits for your reply.

Don't reply, if there is no reply. Texting is not conversation. Rather, it's just a few short messages. So, where you would move a conversation into a new area over the phone or in person, if the topic you're texting about reaches its natural conclusion just don't text back. When it comes to texting, less is more.

Text her at irregular times. Don't text at precisely 9 p.m. every second night. You build more intrigue by texting her at random times because she won't expect it, which makes you more interesting and mysterious.


You shouldn't text a girl much at all. Rather, you should use texting to move into a phone call or an in-person date.

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About the Author

Sam Grover began writing in 2005, also having worked as a behavior therapist and teacher. His work has appeared in New Zealand publications "Critic" and "Logic," where he covered political and educational issues. Grover graduated from the University of Otago with a Bachelor of Arts in history.