How to Cope with a Moody Boyfriend

Updated April 17, 2017

People in relationships experience times when their other half is not in the best of moods. You may be uncertain how to handle those times when your boyfriend is unhappy, moody or even downright angry. Understanding how to handle your boyfriend's negative emotions can help improve your relationship with him and provide him with the love and support he needs to get through a difficult day, week or even month.

Try to determine the cause of your boyfriend's mood. Ask if he had a bad day at work, a fight with a friend or if he lost something important to him. Learning the cause behind his mood is the first step to dealing with it. Do not be offended if he does not want to talk at this time. He may not answer, but asking him demonstrates caring and an open invitation to talk when he is ready.

Consider whether your boyfriend is depressed rather than moody. According to Web MD, over six million men in the U.S. have some form of depression each year. Depression in men is generally expressed as moodiness or anger, rather than the typical sadness and crying seen more in women. Think back to your boyfriend's moods over the previous month to see if you recognise a pattern of behaviour rather than a sporadic bad mood here and there.

Provide your boyfriend with time and space to sort out his negative emotions. Men tend to isolate or withdraw when feeling moody. Give him 30 minutes to an hour to be alone and calm down. Questioning him or attempting to talk at this time might only increase his irritability.

Retreat to your own personal space or activity to allow your boyfriend time to sort out his feelings. Grab a cup of coffee with friends, go for a walk or jog, clean a separate area of the house or watch a television show. The point is to keep yourself engaged in an activity while your boyfriend works through his bad mood.

Offer your support to him and listen if he wants to talk. Provide your boyfriend with an outlet for his moodiness, such as a night with the guys or a day to spend playing video games without interruption. Suggest participating in an exercise or other recreational program together several times per week. Engaging in pleasurable activities can ease depression, anxiety and negative emotions.


Ask but don't demand he tell you what is going on. Keep the conversation casual, and let him set the tone and pace. Men struggle with emotions more so than women, according to Web MD, and allowing him to reveal his feelings at his own pace can help him feel more comfortable about opening up.


Call 911 or a psychiatrist if you notice a dramatic change in your boyfriend's mood or if he makes threats to harm himself, you or others. Web MD reports men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide when depressed, so any threat should be taken seriously and responded to immediately.

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About the Author

Michelle Blessing has experience in child development, parenting, social relationships and mental health, enhanced by her work as a clinical therapist and parent educator. Blessing's work has appeared in various online publications. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in sociology from Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania and is pursuing her master's degree in psychology with a specialization in applied behavior analysis.