How to deal with your husband's female best friend

Written by kate bradley
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How to deal with your husband's female best friend
Don't let anything come between you and your husband. (Polka Dot Images/Polka Dot/Getty Images)

A husband's opposite-sex friendship can make even secure wives feel a little jealous. If your husband has a female best friend, you may worry that he is being emotionally or even physically unfaithful. However, if you trust your husband and want to keep your marriage happy and loving, you need to learn to deal maturely and effectively with your husband's female friend.

Skill level:

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    Learn about the Friend

  1. 1

    Ask your husband to describe his relationship with his best friend. Note any activities that would make you uncomfortable for the two of them to do alone.

  2. 2

    Ask your husband to tell you about her background, work, personality and relationship status.

  3. 3

    Meet the best friend and get to know her. Try to make friends with her. Demonstrate that you do not feel threatened by her relationship with your husband.

    Set Limits

  1. 1

    Calmly make your husband aware of any discomfort. Tell him you prefer that he not engage in certain activities, such as drinking alcohol, with his the friend.

  2. 2

    Discuss and set limits together. Show your husband that he has a say in the discussion and that you are not trying to control him.

  3. 3

    Ask him to include you in their outings occasionally, to limit their time alone together to several hours and never spend a night together.

    Improve your Marriage

  1. 1

    Communicate often and meaningfully with your husband. Don't give him any reason to resent you or consider being unfaithful.

  2. 2

    Express admiration, love and gratitude for your husband daily. Make him feel appreciated and loved.

  3. 3

    Be open about your own friendships and encourage him to discuss his with you. Show him that he can trust you. Remind him that you are a team and that your marriage is your first priority.

    Trust your Husband

  1. 1

    Send your husband off to outings with his best friend without negative feelings. Don't press him for an exact time of return.

  2. 2

    Don't call or text your husband during their meeting unless it is an emergency. Trust that he will come back in a suitable period of time.

  3. 3

    Don't grill your husband with questions when he returns. Ask if he had a good time. Remind yourself that you trust your husband and would want him to trust you if the situation were reversed.

Tips and warnings

  • Ask open-ended questions about the friend, rather than "Yes" or "No" questions. This will help reveal more information. Don't harp on the subject or your discomfort unless your husband is repeatedly violating the boundaries you set together.

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