Your marriage has seen better days. You are considering ending a relationship that has fallen to the wayside. You and your husband no longer communicate with each other and your differences are too much to overcome. You see no hope of reconciliation, you have talked to a counsellor and you have made your decision to leave your husband. Having a plan in place for this situation will help you through this difficult time.
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Weigh the repercussions that will come along with your decision to leave. If you have children, allot time to sit down with them to tell them rationally why you and their father will no longer be living together.
Think through what you are going to tell your friends and family. If you and your husband have mutual friends, try not to alienate those people. Do not make them choose between you and your husband.
Plan what you are going to tell your family, sit them down and discuss your reasoning and inform them that your decision is final.
Plan what you will be telling your husband's family if you have a decent relationship. If you have children, the in-laws are still part of their life and should remain a part of it. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are all part of your children’s life and every effort should be made to retain those relationships for your children’s sake.
Have a way to support yourself. Make sure you have a job before you leave your husband.
Plan where you will be staying after you have made your decision. If you are remaining in the home, consider whether you will be able to pay the rent, utilities, food and necessities that you and your husband paid previously.
Talk to your husband calmly, be honest and tell him your intentions. Discuss with him how the two of you are going to distribute the possessions you both have gathered over the years.
Leave your husband and move on with your life.
Tips and warnings
- It may be troublesome at the beginning while you readjust to a “single” status. You will be independent and making your own decisions for your financial future. If you have children, this man will be tied to you in some form for the remainder of their lives.
- You will be faced with awkward instances in your new life. You and your children will have to readjust your lifestyle. There will be social events that involve your children’s lives and both you and your ex will be there.