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How to Write a Goodbye Letter to a Deceased Mother

Updated July 20, 2017

Writing a goodbye letter to your deceased mother can help you come to terms with your grief. If she died suddenly or was seriously ill, you may have been unable to say all the things that were in your heart. Writing a letter allows you to express your feelings in a personal way and begin the healing process. It is also a way to honour your mother. Sometimes, it is easier to put your sentiments on paper. It helps to organise your thoughts and unleash emotions that you may have been holding inside. It does not matter how long it has been since your mother passed away.

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  1. Write your letter as if you are having a conversation. Tell your mother about what has happened in your life. Talk about how much you miss her. This is the place to talk about your fears, your regrets, and the love you had for your mother. You can write your letter as a story, as a poem, or a short note --- whatever makes you feel comfortable. Write her an e-mail, if that is your favourite method of communication. Some people have started blogs with letters that they have written to deceased loved ones. If you want your feelings made public, you can also do this.

  2. Show the letter to someone, if it will help you. Some counsellors or therapists suggest writing this type of letter. If you are in counselling, you may want to show it to your therapist. It can be easier to show than tell.

  3. Write your letter on special stationery and make a journal with many letters, or a scrapbook. If your letter has a lot of meaning to you and other family members, you can frame it. Write a letter to celebrate a special occasion, such as her birthday, your birthday, or Mother's Day. It is also fine to destroy it afterward, if you want to put those feelings in the past.

  4. Forgive your mother, if you have feelings of anger. If you did not have a loving relationship, now is the time to let that go. Write exactly what you want to say. You are not going to hurt anyone's feelings. If your mother treated you poorly, it is healing to express these feelings in such a safe manner. Holding onto the pain will make you bitter. Release all of your pain onto the paper. When you are finished, let it go. Hold a little ceremony for taking back your life. Burn the paper or let it fall from your hand from a high bridge into the water below.

  5. Tip

    There is no right or wrong way to write a goodbye letter to your deceased mother. As long as it makes you feel better, that is all that matters.

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About the Author

Pamela Stewart began writing in 1994. Her articles have appeared in North American newspapers and magazines such as "Now Magazine" and the "Georgina Advocate." Stewart has written for educational publications such as the "American Society for Industrial Security Protection of Assets Manual.” Her first book of fiction was published in 2008. She studied creative writing at Ryerson University.

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