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When the beauty and magic have subsided in your current marriage and you find yourself allured by the possibility of trying again with another, you may be at a point where you want to leave your wife for another woman. It may be a very difficult thing to do, but it's not an impossible task, as long as you exercise the proper sensitivity, strength and empathy.
Approach your wife with honesty and explain why you are unhappy. The worst and most hurtful thing that you can do is lie to your wife to avoid hurting her feelings. Most of the time, this strategy ends up causing more pain. You should simply tell her why you are unhappy in the relationship.
Clarify that your unhappiness is not something that can be fixed. Some wives may plead for you to stay and others may curse you out of the door, but, either way, you should be very clear and direct about your course of action. Tell your wife that you've decided to leave, and you cannot be swayed.
Explain your other woman to your wife. This may be the most difficult task, but this is a huge component of being honest. You shouldn't reveal unnecessary and hurtful details of your affair, but you should be clear about where you stand with the other woman.
Separate yourself from your wife physically. Find a place to stay for a while. This separation can ease the pain and suffering of your leaving your wife for another woman. Give your wife a way to contact you, but allow her the space to meditate on her realisation that you're leaving.
Explain to the other woman how you feel about your relationship with your wife, and indicate to her that it is important that you two remain sensitive to your wife's feelings. Don't flaunt your relationship in front of your wife or her friends.
- Although telling your wife that you're leaving her and that you have a new lover can bring forth twice the amount of shock, you should tell her both things at once in order to be fully revelatory in your talks with her. It is best for you both if you are completely open about everything.
- If you have children, then you should talk to your wife at first when the children are away. Afterward, you can explain the situation to your children when your wife is not as upset.
- Jeffrey Hamilton/Digital Vision/Getty Images