INFP Personalities and Relationship Compatibility

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment is a questionnaire that tests personality types according to four-letter codes. Each letter is a dichotomy: Introverted (I)/Extroverted (E), Sensing (S)/Intuition (N),Thinking (T)/Feeling (F) and Judging(J)/Perceiving(P).

Each personality type is created by choosing one of the two dichotomies until there are four. The INFP is a personality type. INFP people tend to be shy, reserved, and quiet but with a lot of love to give. They thrive off long-term, romantic relationships, but also enjoy close personal friendships. The INFP enjoys intimacy, consensus and a generally peaceful lifestyle.

The Test

The Myers-Briggs personality test is given by asking a series of values-based questions and asking testees whether they agree or disagree. For example, one question is "You are almost never late for your appointments," and the testee can respond with "yes," or "no." Another question is "You usually plan your actions in advance," to which the testee can again respond with "yes" or "no." Each of these questions is weighed towards one of the letter-based personality components. If, for example, someone were to answer "yes" to "You rapidly get involved in social life at a new workplace," then this would sway her first letter towards E for Extroverted. Were she to answer "no," then her first letter would be swayed more towards an I for Introverted.

The Idealist

The Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiver (INFP) is an idealist. He is focused on improving the world he lives in. What's more, the INFP is highly intuitive and good at listening to people. He tends to be reserved, but to open up more than most when he becomes close with someone. This means that the INFP is best suited to close friendships and long-term, loving romantic relationships.

Finally, the INFP avoids conflict. Rather than focus on who is correct in a disagreement, the INFP will focus on how it makes everyone involved feel, and how everyone's feelings can be improved rather than how the underlying problem can be solved.


INFPs are feelers above all else. They are introspective people who receive information based on how it effects them personally. This is a facet of their Introverted trait. They prefer to process information from the outside world through their Intuition. Once they have this information, they prefer to make decisions based on Feelings, subjective value systems rather than objective rules and regulations. Finally, they are more comfortable with casual environments than with rigid, structured ones. This is a facet their Perceiving (P) trait. What this means is that INFPs are very subjective, value-based "feelers" who perceive the world and the people in it in very personal, emotional terms. They are happiest in long-term romantic relationships and close friendships because of how much emotional, personal stimulation these offer.

Conflict and Competition

INFP feel emotional, strong connections to the world around them, due to their internalisation of outside stimuli and tendency to perceive things in relation to themselves. They have a hard time removing themselves from games, debates and other forms of competition, and can take things personally because of their emotional investment. What this means is that they prefer situations where everybody wins. They do not like conflict, competition or arguing for its own sake. For this reason, the Thinking (T) types, who tend to enjoy conflict and arguments, are not generally very good matches for the INFP. This is because the Thinker perceives the world in terms of its rules. The Feeler perceives it in terms of its effects on himself, and is therefore much more invested in it.

Introversion and Extroversion

Because the INFP focuses all of his attitudes inward, it is very difficult for him to connect with someone who does the same. This means that in relationships--not just romantic relationships, but friendships too--the INFP is most compatible with someone who has an E (for extrovert) as her first personality type letter. Otherwise, lines of communication are fraught at best and nonexistent at worst.

Judging and Perceiving

When looking for compatibility it is often wise to perform the same function on Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) as was done in Introversion and Extroversion. That is, if one person's final letter is a P--as it is in this case--then they will be most socially compatible with people whose final letter is a J. This is because Judging and Perceiving are such complements to one another. The INFP who perceives the world holistically and does not make strong, decisive decisions will be compatible with someone who judges the world around them and does make strong, decisive decisions.

The Final Word

Ultimately, the INFP's ideal relationship partner is someone who shares his core values--the Intuitiveness and Feeling--but applies them to the world in a different way--an Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling Judger (ENFJ). This will create a relationship that, while not made in complete consensus, will have communication and, more importantly, will be based on the same core values.