How to make up after a big argument

Updated November 21, 2016

Arguments can leave both parties feeling upset and confused. While arguments are typical in relationships, it is the ability of both parties to reconcile after a major disagreement that stands a testament to the strength of a relationship. No matter what the fight may have been about, if both people in the relationship are willing to try and overcome an argument, making up requires only time, effort and understanding.

Take some time to yourself. Think about what has just happened and allow yourself, and your partner, time to cool down. This time frame is an ideal opportunity to evaluate your partner's point of view and consider possible solutions for the disagreement.

Acknowledge that the argument has occurred. Approach your partner after you have both calmed down and let him know that you'd like to talk about the incident and find a way to move on. If you partner is still fuming over the incident, respect his wishes to wait a little longer before attempting to reconcile.

Apologise to your partner, and mean it. Even if you did not start the argument, there is likely something you did during the course of the fight that you regret. Let your partner know that you're sorry and be specific about what you're apologetic for. For instance, you may apologise for losing your cool, storming off or yelling.

Sit down and talk about the issue one more time. Go over the possible solutions that you considered during the cooling-down period and listen to your partner's input. Explain to one another why you became upset and attempt to understand the other's point of view. Agree on a solution, or agree to work on a solution over time.

Seal the apology with a kind gesture to demonstrate to your partner that regardless of the argument, you still care. Invite her to dinner the following evening, or bring home a bouquet of flowers to show you're sorry and not just say it.

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