Let’s face it; being online for an unhealthy amount of time makes for the sickly human equivalent of man’s best friend munching down on its own faeces. For example, last month we all learnt that a fox says: “Gering-ding-ding-ding-ringerdingering.” If you have no idea what we are talking about then lucky you. Fads appear in your morning Newsfeed and are gone before you give your Smartphone a sweet kiss goodnight. However, Pet Shaming has become an online institution. Actual “Reporters” at Fox News recently claimed that “pet-damage” costs almost £2 billion a year (how such statistics are compiled remains a mystery) and humans are getting their own back. It’s a good thing we choose not to take large news corporations or Pet Shaming too seriously. So sit back and enjoy our second installment of the very best of Pet Shaming.
"I ate my 9 year old owner's art project -- it had marshmallows on it -- I couldn't resist."
''I throw a fit every time my mama tries to brush me... now I'm naked."
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"I chewed my mom's shoes two hours before she needed them."
"I'm in the box of shame today because: I threw up." A repeat offender.
"I bark incessantly at nothing."
"I have a green thumb."
"I steal sandwiches. I am a complete bastard."
"I chewed mom's heating pad and ipad charger cords in half. I'm glad I didn't die."
"He digs holes. She digs holes." The blame game.
"My momma brought out the nativity set and I peed on the Virgin Mary..." Bless you.
"I eat bunny poop!"
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"I chewed the face of a stuffed elephant."
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"I ask for back scratches then fart in the back scratcher's face."
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"I peed on the hamster."
"I ate my breakfast and then ran over and ate the blind guy's breakfast."
"I destroyed Christmas."
"I beg this cat to lick my ears."
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"I pee a little when I see strangers outside the window and I know that is wrong, so I lick it all up so mom won't see..."
"I like to watch." Ahem, we can only assume what he is referring to is the cricket.
Again, the only reasonable conclusion that we can come to is that it's you lot that should be ashamed.