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How to know if you are dating a dominating personality

Updated February 21, 2017

Dating can be tricky. You're getting to know someone, trying to learn what makes him tick, and observing how he handles everything life throws at him. People with dominating personalities can achieve success at many things in life, both professionally and personally. But if he's constantly dominating to the point of controlling other people, it can be a problem. There must be give-and-take to make a relationship work because one person should not be made to feel like an insubordinate.

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  1. Monitor how your boyfriend handles tasks or situations. If he wants to do things correctly, it's one thing. But if he controls everything and has to always be in charge, then he may have a dominating personality.

  2. Judge how he acts around your family and friends. Jealousy often points to a dominating personality. The guy you're dating may say jealousy is a sign of love, but instead, it can be indicative of possessiveness and a lack of trust. He may ask you about other people you know or accuse you of flirting.

  3. Listen for sarcasm and comments that belittle other people. Belittling may be masked behind supposed "jokes," but the effect is the same. He's trying to chip away at your confidence, because then you'll be easier to control.

  4. Check the calendar. If the romance has been a whirlwind one and you're made to feel like you'll be letting him down if you want to slow down the relationship, he's likely trying to dominate you.

  5. Pay attention to unsolicited advice hinting that your behaviour is inappropriate. Underhanded comments may seem like friendly advice, but if it's happening all the time, these subtle comments are another way the guy you're dating is trying to dominate you.

  6. See if he can admit when he's wrong. Most dominating personalities can't, because it's a sign of weakness. He may have control issues to work out.

  7. Tip

    Dominating personalities would sound caring when they're giving you an advice. If you're the type who fights for what you think is right, then you and your date with a dominating personality will probably clash all the time. It is okay to be submissive but don't overdue it.


    Watch for the signs that could turn into an abusive relationship.

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About the Author

Based in New York State, Kelly Shetsky started writing in 1999. She is a broadcast journalist-turned Director of Marketing and Public Relations and has experience researching, writing, producing and reporting. She writes for several websites, specializing in gardening, medical, health and fitness, entertainment and travel. Shetsky has a Bachelor of Arts in communications from Marist College.

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