How to Let a Guy Down Easy
You know it's time to let him go. You just don't know how. Here's how to ease the blow and make things a little less painful—for both of you.
It’s Not Easy to Let a Guy Down Easily
You thought he was the most awesome guy in the world. But now you don’t. You especially don’t want to take that next step—introduce him to your kids. On the other hand, you also really like him and don’t want to hurt his feelings. Realistically, you know you probably won’t stay friends after you break up, but how do you let him down as easily as you can?
Choose the Right Time
Be super-considerate of what he’s going through, but don’t procrastinate by waiting for the perfect moment. The right time never comes. If you care about him even a little, this isn’t going to be easy. Just be cognizant of what’s going on in both your lives and try to pick a time in which both of you can give this unhappy occasion your undivided attention.
And a Right Place
You can’t do this at his best friend’s wedding or his daughter’s birthday party. It’s also not something you should do via text or on the phone. Do it in person. If you’re at all concerned about how he’ll react, select a public place where you can have a private conversation. You want to have your say and then say goodbye.
Be as Honest as Possible
Tell him why it didn’t work without placing blame. People break up all the time, and two sides exist to every situation. It’s not your job to fix him. You can point out one or two instances in which you just weren’t compatible, but if you’re really ready to break up, this is not the time to tell him all the ways he could improve. Don’t give him false hope.
Give It a Positive Spin
For all the reasons you both may miss the relationship, do your best to tell him why it’s the right move at the right time. He’s not right for you. You’re not right for him. He’s going to find someone who will appreciate his unique sense of humor and love to listen when he talks about his job. It’s just not you. Let him know that you are happy for the time you spent together and that you think he’s a good person; it’s just time to move on.
He may have felt this coming for a while. It’s unlikely, but you may even be able to remain friends. However, if he feels as if he’s being blindsided and he really, really loves you, you need to be firm with your decision. It’s not going to work. You have a responsibility to be true to yourself and to protect your family from a misguided romance. Stick to your decision, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not change your mind.
If you have any doubts whatsoever that he may not take it well, protect yourself. Drive yourself home or have a friend pick you up. If he won’t let go, delete his contact information, block his calls, and, if it comes to it, let the authorities know. Breakups happen every day, but sometimes, relationships are very one-sided, and the person hearing the bad news just can’t accept it. That’s not your problem, but you may need to find a solution that involves some extra help.
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Linda Emma is a long-standing writer and editor. She is also a digital marketing professional and published author with more than 20 years experience in media and business. She works as a content manager and professional writing tutor at a private New England college. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Northeastern University.