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Video transcription

We're working on our relationship skills and today we're going to be learning about how to submit to your husband, or wrestle with a tie breaker. My name is Joe Cuenco. I'm with Family Resources. Let's talk about the process of submitting to your husband. It really first begins with communication about how you want to enter into roles, or manage the roles within the relationship. Basically, a lot of folks, and very common today, where it's a partnership approach, where there's shared responsibilities, shared accountability. In fact, I may be responsible for the check book and paying the bills. My wife may be responsible for the children, home maintenance and things of that nature. But you have to come to an agreement on what my expectations are, what your expectations are and agree that this is how it's going to be handled. If you have disagreements on some of those things, you need to come to communication and work out a resolution. It's important that you really define these roles because if you're expectations are that somebody is going to be, have dominion on more of the decision-making, that's going to create some conflict. So the discussion, communication, needs to take place first. Very few patriarchal roles exist anymore, they're kind of out voted, although they do exist in some areas. Nowadays you have a lot of dual-income couples where both work, both have responsibilities and oftentimes, the wife may have more responsibilities than the man. But if you take a look at the way successful companies are run, there's a CEO, somebody has to make the ultimate decisions, and he delegates responsibilities to his COO, VPs, Presidents, etc. In the same fashion, you have to have somebody responsible and ultimately accountable for making that particular decision in the household. So someone's going to have to be the CEO. And for at least some decisions, the man is going to have to play the role of the ultimate decision maker, as the head of household. Let him take the lead. If you take a look at how a two quarterback model may exist, you never see that work in the NFL. It just doesn't work. Somebody has to take the lead, take the ball, direct the team and move forward as a family unit. And if there are some issues that you still have to deal with, I would suggest taking a marriage education workshop or doing some family counseling. This is all helpful to you to understand roles and responsibilities and how to work together cohesively as a unit. I'm Joe Cuenco and that's a way to submit to your husband, for Family Resources: Relationships for Life.