The most absurd chat-up lines used on women

Nature blesses us with the most clichéd pick-up lines. If you're a woman, you've certainly heard these lines more than once, and each time your ears have bled a little. Some of the linguistic strategies employed by men are old, cheesy, arrogant or routine and should be avoided if you want to achieve your amorous objectives. Here are some of those pick-up lines you should avoid.

"Do you come here often?"

Yes, indeed, there are still guys who use this pick-up line. But beware, there is still no test to determine its effectiveness. Besides the great possibility of immediate rejection, that line is evidence of an absolute and undeniable lack of imagination.

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

The most common answer is simply "no". Anyone looking for love who utters this worn out sequence of words will get nowhere. Soul mates are like "two hearts that beat as one", when when is away, the other will regain its own rhythm.

"I've been with lots of women, but with you it's different"

If a woman is distracted, this line might have a momentary effect. In the long run, however, there will be disappointment just as surely as countless other women have heard the same line coming from the same mouth. Most women know the outcome is inevitable: sooner or later their unique status will be lost as they become just another groupie in Romeo's fan base.

"I like you for what's inside you"

A guy might be saying how wonderful and clever you are, but he's really just marvelling at your cleavage. It might be a lie but many insecure women prefer it to what they believe to be harsh reality. As the Spanish singer-songwriter Joaquín Sabina wrote, "To much sincerity makes girls sick."

"How can a girl as pretty as you not have a boyfriend?"

You might not have the answer to such a question but, obviously, neither does the guy who asks. And while you might be tempted to reply sarcastically, "it's because you haven't entered my life yet," be careful as the guy might not grasp the sarcasm and think you're declaring unconditional love. Anyway, with luck, he won't be the cause of any change of your Facebook status.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

You might think to yourself, "Next!," while these cheesy lines keep poring from his mouth. Whatever guy is unfortunate enough to use this line multiplies to infinity his odds of ever getting a date. A clever response to this idiotic line could be, "Maybe you know me from my work, I run a paid dating service."

"I'd go to end of the world for you"

Cheesy, cloying and rubbish are the best ways to characterise a line that only invites a guy to accompany himself out the nearest door. It's a pity the Mayan prediction of the end of the world didn't pan out, it would have been a good way to put an end to this tripe.

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"Oh! I'm in love!"

Another Saturday night classic, especially when the clock says 4 am and the proclaimer's blood alcohol level has left the building. For all the drinks you might have had, you'd still never believe a proclamation of love made in this context and setting. Ultraviolet lights, disconnected movements and perspiration are all you might share in common with this cheap version of Cupid.

Related: Top 10 signs that it's time to give up on your relationship

"Heart of gold, silken skin, eyes like limpid pools"

Congratulations! He has just done what no one has ever accomplished: put you right to sleep on the street. Comparing anatomical parts to precious metals, fine fabrics or liquids are not only the worst allies of conquest, they are also an insult to all the writers who laboured to create those literary metaphors. That kind of material only ever worked in 1970s soap operas, and those, at least, had the benefit of equally cheesy music.

Related: 14 Things you should never say to a woman

"You look bored. Aren't you lucky I showed up?"

In their attempts to sell themselves in the singles scene, many men confuse arrogance with self-confidence. Really, though, it's the quickest route to repulsion. The self-promotional strategy has failed this genius and, as for you, you're better off cleaning your bathroom than going out with that loser.

Related: Friend zoned: How to deal with an ex who wants to be mates

Speechless? Escape is all you want

Some guys are so thick they don't even think about using stupid pick-up lines. Add to that all the car horn honking, whistles, guttural noises and offhand remarks made to passing women that make men feel like courageous winners and it's no wonder that women have defied physics and learned to run in heels.

Related: Things that you'll never be able to do now that you're "happily" married

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About the Author

Celina Abud nació y vive en Buenos Aires. Recibida en 2001, se desempeña desde hace cinco años como periodista experta en Salud. A partir de 2010 produce y edita notas para un suplemento web de un importante diario argentino. Sus artículos recibieron premios y reconocimientos del área médica.