Although many of the wedding responsibilities fall on the bride and her family, the mother of the groom also has a few responsibilities. In addition to these tasks, the mother of the groom should be in contact with the bride and offer assistance in other areas as she can.
As soon as the families learn of the engagement, the mother of the groom is responsible for initiating contact with the bride's family. Traditionally, this included inviting them to dinner or cocktails. If the families live too far apart for this to be feasible, the mother of the bride still needs to call and introduce herself, in addition to possibly mailing a note and a family photo to the bride's parents.
The groom's family is responsible for hosting the rehearsal dinner, and often, much of the work will fall on the mother of the groom. It is important to discuss plans with the bride and groom before solidifying them to make sure that the rehearsal dinner meets their expectations. Often the bride and groom will provide a guest list to the groom's parents, who will then send out the invitations.
In addition to planning the venue and food for the rehearsal dinner, the mother of the groom is also responsible for coordinating any activities that will take place during the evening.
After receiving notification from the bride and groom of how many guests to invite, the mother of the groom should compile a guest list for the groom's side. The list should include full names of the people to invite, along with their current mailing addresses.
After the response deadline has passed, the mother of the groom needs to call any guests from her side of the family who have not yet responded.
The mother of the groom should not select her outfit for the wedding day until after she has heard what the mother of the bride is going to be wearing. The mother of the groom should wear something that is equally formal and is coordinated with the mother of the bride and the bridesmaids but does not match too closely.
If there is going to be a mother-son dance at the wedding reception, the mother of the groom needs to plan to dance with her son. Sometimes, the groom will pick a song, and other times, he will leave that responsibility to his mother. Consider a few practice sessions if your son is not a very experienced dancer.
The groom's family traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner, a wedding gift and their clothing, transportation and attire. They can also assist the groom with his responsibilities, which include the honeymoon, rings for the bride, tuxedo, flowers for the women, officiant fee and marriage license. If they would like, the mother and father of the groom can also offer financial assistance for other elements of the wedding and reception.