Outwardly your new boyfriend is perfect. He’s handsome, intelligent, charming and talented. At first you were thrilled to hear about his many career accolades. Now, weeks later, the one-sided dialogue is getting tiresome. Prince Charming seems haughty, perhaps even insensitive. You begin to wonder if there are serious flaws in your relationship. Could you be dating a narcissist? While only qualified professionals can assess narcissistic personality disorder, you can be watchful for narcissistic traits that may spell trouble.
Although narcissistic boyfriends come in an array of packaging, under the often attractive outer wrapping lurks an overly inflated ego. This self-importance reaches epic levels in the narcissist. Attention-grabbing behaviour, according to Sam Vaknin, Ph.D., can include “demands to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements”. In other words, he truly believes he is a fantastic human being and is deserving of intense adulation, often deeply envious of those stealing his thunder. And he won’t hesitate to blatantly lie to make his accomplishments ultra praiseworthy.
Empathy, the ability to identify with others' feelings or situations, is lacking in a narcissist, according to Mind Disorders.com. Devoid of sensitivity, the narcissist is incapable of projecting himself into another person’s shoes. He may not tell you this, but the behaviour becomes apparent in his arrogant demeanour toward humanity. A narcissistic boyfriend will treat his girlfriend’s feelings with insensitive disregard, as if nonexistent. In his world, it’s impossible and inconvenient to consider that other people have feelings worth noting.
Like an internal motto, narcissists believe people exist to serve them. This, of course, includes you. A narcissistic boyfriend will exploit any available human to acquire status, cash or pleasure to furnish his impulses. And, lacking empathy, he may casually discard people once his purpose is satisfied. Perceiving women as tools to gratify sexual needs, narcissists are commonly unfaithful. In his mission to achieve a desired objective, a narcissist can drip charm or resort to deceptive tactics.
If you are dating a narcissist, you may discover his need for not only excessive adoration but also for exceptional, priority treatment. He feels entitled to date only beautiful women or most worthy of a premium job promotion. While many people desire these things, a narcissist believes he deserves them. If thwarted, a narcissist can become ugly. Explaining the narcissist in a relationship, Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D., states, “When frustrated, he withdraws his love and resorts to rage and projection”.
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