Passive aggression is a term that refers to certain underhanded behaviors a person displays to express their anger or hostility toward another person. Oftentimes, the passive aggressive person expresses their anger in subtle ways such as sarcasm, procrastination, forgetfulness and making excuses and justifications. Passive aggressive people can be frustrating, but there are effective ways to deal with a passive aggressive friend.
Passive Aggression
Oftentimes a passive aggressive person expresses themselves with certain types of behavior and with words or humor. Some examples of passive aggressiveness are acting inadequate or dumb in a situation to gain advantage, using sarcasm to communicate underlying hostility or anger, leaving out important information to give the wrong impression or gain an upper hand, and giving backhanded compliments.
Assertive Communication
One of the best ways to deal with a passive aggressive friend is to be direct and use assertive communication. This type of communication is useful for letting the passive aggressive friend know how their behavior or words makes people feel, whether a person is feeling angry, disappointed or hurt. Do not engage in the subtle vagueness that is a characteristic of passive aggression.
Avoid Arguments
Avoid engaging in arguments with a passive aggressive friend. Arguments will only elicit explanations, excuses and justifications from a passive aggressive person. Remember that people are not able to change another person's behavior, but people are able to change their response to another person's behavior. Accept that the friend is passive aggressive and most likely will always be passive aggressive.
Set Reasonable Expectations
When dealing with a passive aggressive friend, a person must readjust their expectations of the friend and learn to observe their actions rather than trust their word or verbal commitments. Always have alternate arrangements when making plans with a passive aggressive friend in case they do not honor their commitments. Give their actions more value than their words, because most passive aggressive people will say one thing but do another.
Avoid Criticism
Passive aggressive people typically think they are right and others are wrong. For a person dealing with a passive aggressive friend, it is best to avoid explaining why their behavior is wrong as the passive aggressive friend will usually see the explanation as an attack. This will only frustrate both parties while resolving nothing.
