Signs a Boyfriend Is Not Into You

Updated April 17, 2017

Love and relationships are wonderful things. However, sometimes the man you are with loses interest. If you are having doubts about his affection, there are different behavioural signs that you can look for to tell if he is not into you. While this is not an exact science, certain new habits and attitudes are indicative of a weakening romance. Understanding some of these signals can help prepare you for a possible break-up.


There are certain well-known phrases or conversations that may indicate your boyfriend has lost interest. The classic, "Let's take a break" is usually just a prelude to an eventual break-up. Chances are, he is slowly trying to ease his way out of the relationship. Another common excuse is, "It's not you, it's me." This can be followed by a variety of reasons why it is supposedly his fault that things are not working out. He might claim that he is not ready to commit, too busy with work, or not over his ex. Again, he is fishing for reasons to end the relationship while trying to spare your feelings.


Your boyfriend will exhibit certain behaviours that indicate he is losing interest. For example, he may not seem as keen to spend time with you. It could also take him days to return your calls. Another sign is that he would rather spend time with you while in a group. If he no longer likes being alone with you, then it is likely that his feelings have changed. Additionally, if you do spend time together, he may seem distracted or distant. If he is not fully invested in you when you are alone with him, then it is a good indication that he has fallen out of love.


Certain changes in attitude are clues of a fizzling romance. For example, your boyfriend might go from being open and communicative to secretive and defensive. He may not be willing to discuss his affairs or feelings anymore. Another warning is a sudden obsession with his appearance. If your boyfriend has not always been fixated on how he looks, chances are that he is trying to attract other women.


If if the relationship seems brittle, there is a possibility to save it. First, do not become pushy or overbearing. If he wants distance, smothering him is the worst thing you can do. Also, do not indicate that you are concerned. It is best to let this play out on its own without starting a possible argument. Always act positive when you are around your boyfriend. Behave the way you did when you first met, and it might just remind him of why he fell for you in the first place. Be patient and let the man come to you. Finally, keep in mind that relationships end. It will be painful, but try not to be devastated. There are plenty of other men out there, so be confident and move on.

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About the Author

Alex Saez is a writer who draws much of his information from his professional and academic experience. Saez holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature from Queen's University and an advanced diploma in business administration, with a focus on human resources, from St. Lawrence College in Kingston, Ontario.